


Side Effects May Vary

by silver_drip



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alcohol Withdrawal, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: Tony saves the day and brought everyone back, but some people came back younger.





	1. Chapter 1

_*Snap*_

For the second time the universe jolted unnaturally.

The Infinity Gauntlet dissolves into nothing around Tony’s hand. He felt a profound silence as he held his breath.

The fallen bodies around him twitched, a horror movie in reverse as blood returned into bodies. Placid skin gained color, eyes became focused, and lungs shuddered to life.

Tony let out his held breath, seeming to breathe life into those around him.

Tears fell from his eyes as distant ash cumulated into human forms.

His comrades that had died in the last battle sat up, looks of confusion then relief in their eyes.

Tony choked on a sob of relief.

But then grey spots appeared before him. He reached out for them, grasping ash. He realized the ash was coming from him. “Tony!” someone called out, but he didn’t hear it, lost in unconsciousness.

*

Thor’s death had been the most unexpected and the most hollow. It wasn’t even Thanos’ doing, or one of his minions. But after Thanos wiped out half of existence there had been so much grief, and so much anger. And not everyone knew how to cope.

Thor had been giving a speech, bolstering the morale of everyone, Stormbreaker raised high. His conviction was clear, even swaying Tony. Then between one word and the next, his head was gone, blasted away in a flash that was brighter than any sun.

All Tony could see was spots, but when his vision cleared Stormbreaker was gone, and with it Rocket.

A distant person screamed and there was another flash of light, this time green and far dimmer. Loki appeared, his hands moving in a complicated gesture. The golden dust that Thor was dissolving into gathered into an ornate bottle. He clutched it to his chest, a crazed look in his eyes.

Those among the living moved to capture him, but Loki held up his hand and made it clear where his allegiance laid.

With Thor gone, they were desperate enough to take his help.

But even with his measured taunts, he couldn’t bring out the Hulk, who they later found out was mourning the loss of Valkyrie. And without Thor, no one could commiserate with him. Yet Bruce made it further than most humans did.

The Dora Milaje were a strong fighting force in their roiling anger and despair.

But the bodies kept falling until it was only Nebula, Steve, and Tony left. Nebula had been the one to land the killing blow, Tony and Steve merely a distraction. Nebula had sat on Thanos shoulders in a facsimile of a father and daughter at a carnival. Stabbing a pair of daggers into his eyes then yanking upward, splitting his skull into thirds.

Yet his hand was still moving to use the gauntlet, the last threads of Thanos’ will. Only through Tony and Steve’s combined efforts was it removed.

Tony didn’t hesitate to put the gauntlet on, clearing his mind of everything, leaving only the thought of restoring what Thanos had destroyed.

Things never go according to plan for him though.

*

When Tony woke the first thing he noticed was that he was in no pain and felt light. Then he heard the heart monitor beeping and he started to panic. If he was alive and in no pain, that meant someone pumped him full of morphine. He was a recovering alcoholic! If he got addicted to morphine—

“Tones,” Rhodey said, pulling Tony out of his spinning thoughts. He opened his eyes, not having realized they were still closed. Tony let out a long breath of air. He knew Rhodey would never allow the doctors to give him morphine, no matter how much pain he was in. “You’ve been out of it for a day.”

“Why don’t I feel like shit?” Tony had taken a beating that his armor had been ill-equipped to handle.

“About that, uh, you did a bit more than bring everyone back,” Rhodey said, sounding uncomfortable. Tony started mentally berating himself, his mind going in a million different directions. Rhodey read his expression. “No, Tones. It wasn’t anything too bad, just unexpected. You and a lot of other people came back younger. From what we can tell it happened to a fraction of the people you brought back and you.” Rhodey paused. “Some people think it’s a miracle, but not everyone. When they came back younger they lost the memories of when they were older.” Rhodey let out a puff of air, a grin tilting his lips. “Then there’s the Christians who think you did the work of the devil and reversed the rapture.”

“Pff, they were already ranting about not being beamed up by God. They should be happy to know they weren’t ‘forsaken’.” Tony sat up and patted his chest. His nano-bot housing was gone—and there was no indent. “How young…?”

“It’s hard to tell. Pre-Iron Man young, but not by much.” Rhodey leaned over and ruffled Tony’s hair, causing him to squawk. “Lil-Tony, all fresh faced and naive.”

Tony batted away Rhodey’s hand then smoothed down his hair. “I still have my memories, ass-hole. I just got a touchup.” Tony’s expression went slack. “What about your legs?” Tony didn’t know why he asked. The answer was right in front of him. Rhodey was still wearing the braces.

Rhodey shrugged. “Nothing I haven’t gotten used to already.” Rhodey’s smile was sincere, but Tony’s heart still broke a little more.

“I should have—I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but I should have helped—”

“Calm down. It’s alright.” Rhodey stood up.

Tony was about to say something, about to panic, until he realized Rhodey was just getting him some water, and a novelty Iron Man straw. “I’m not a kid,” Tony said, despite making grabby hands.

“Sure you’re not,” Rhodey said dryly. Tony downed his drink, making an obnoxious sucking noise with his straw. “Friday found Pepper.” Tony’s breath caught in his throat. How could he forget Pepper? When she’d disappeared he’d felt like his heart had been ripped out all over again. “She’s a minor now, sixteen years old.”

Tony leaned back on the hospital bed, the cup falling from his hand and clacking on the ground. “Does she remember me?”

Rhodey shook his head. “We flew her to her parents’ house. Neither of them lost any years, but I don’t think they’re prepared to deal with her angsty teenage years again.” Rhodey grinned. “You should have seen her. She came back in 80s clothes and her hair dyed black and blown out.”

Tony snorted. He had seen pictures of her teenage years. She’d been so embarrassed. He laughed and it turned into sobs. He choked on his grief yet was so relieved that she was okay. He’d lost her all over again, the only person who had accepted and romantically loved him. His one chance at a happy ever after.

Rhodey put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. He took in a shuddering breath. “What about Peter?”

“The rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy,” but not Rocket was left unsaid, “brought him back to Earth on their spaceship. He’s four now and Ms. Parker is eighteen. Her last memory was of her going to her first day of college. She’s watching Peter right now, but… she’s not exactly equipped for it. They’re in Stark Tower with Friday watching them.”

Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off a headache. “Let me guess, the whole world is in chaos.”

“Yup. That sums it up. The governments and SI are trying to help connect people to their families. Thankfully people are reappearing from where they disappeared, but…”

“People that were in airplanes or in the middle of the ocean on boats aren’t so lucky,” Tony finished for him.

Rhodey cringed, but nodded. “Don’t forget the people in submarines or the ones who were driving.” Most of the streets were still clogged with crashed cars.

“Anyone spawn into solid objects?”

“Thankfully, no. And you probably shouldn’t use the word ‘spawn’. You make it sound like a videogame.”

Before Tony could reply with a quip there was a knock at the door. It cracked open, revealing Doctor Strange. “Am I interrupting?” he asked while entering the room.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Didn’t you already see this future and know you were?”

Strange grinned. “I only looked forward enough to see you wield the gauntlet and bring everyone back. I didn’t have time to look much further.” A burst of red came from the pocket on Strange’s shirt. The square piece of cloth, no larger than Tony’s hand, fluttered over and landed on his lap. “My cloak cum handkerchief thanks you.”

“Uh, you’re welcome.” Tony patted the handkerchief. It slapped his hand before holding out one of its corners like it was trying to give him a handshake. Tony offered his pointer finger and the handkerchief shook it before bowing then flying back to Strange.

“I’ve come to check up on you before I start rebuilding the Sanctum. With many of our acolytes transformed into children, they need retraining. And without needing to guard the time stone we have a chance to flourish. It is also an opportunity for us to bring in more people with latent powers who were turned into children, but have no families.” Tony’s expression immediately became pained. “Don’t. You saved all of them. Better for them to be alive and young than to be dead.”

A nurse came in, interrupting their conversation. Tony submitted to the medical tests, trying not to think too hard on what had happened. He was just glad Rhodey was by his side.

*

The lower floors of Stark Tower were being used as an ER and refuge for minors who either didn’t have a home or were too young to take care of themselves. It was half-hospital, half-scream-filled-daycare. Children were wailing for their mothers and to go home. Thankfully it appeared that people didn’t become younger than three-years-old.

Tony took his private elevator to avoid it all. He was met with two other children when he reached the penthouse. One hiding behind a corner while the other ran right up to him.

“Err, Thor?” Tony asked while looking at the seven-year-old blond boy that was practically bouncing off the walls.

“Aye! It is me! You must be the Man of Iron,” Thor said, just as loud as when he had been an adult. “My little brother—though he is little no longer—has told me about you.”

“Good, you’re here,” Loki said while coming out of the kitchen, walking behind the other child who had to be Peter Parker. “You will watch over Thor as I gather the Asgardians that are doubtlessly floating in space, waiting for a savior.”

“Woah, hold your horses.” Tony held both his hands up. “I’m not looking after your kid brother.” Tony glanced at Thor. He was literally vibrating in place. “And I know your type is hearty, but I doubt they can survive the vacuum of space.”

“Nay, they should be fine. By now they will have fallen into a restorative stasis. I must gather them before less agreeable people happen upon them.” The casual clothing Loki was wearing melted into battle armor. “You are the only Midgardian worthy of watching over Thor.”

“No—” But Loki was already gone in a burst of green sparkles. Tony held back a curse with nearly the last of his strength.

“Man of Iron! Meet Peter of the Spiders!” Thor gestured towards the hiding boy that looked to be about four. Peter ducked behind the wall.

“Peter!” a distinctly female voice called out. “I told you to stay in front of the TV!”

Peter came running out from his spot, his bare feet pitter-pattering as he hid behind Tony’s legs. “Don’t wanna!” He gripped Tony’s jeans.

A decidedly young May Parker appeared in 80s glam rock clothing, oversized jewelry, and pointed shoes. She blinked in surprise when she saw him. “Tony, right? You’ve aged well.” She gave him a flirtatious look that would have sent him back-peddling if a kid wasn’t standing behind him.

“Yeah, no. I’m Tony Stark, but you’re way too young for me.”

That didn’t deter May from twirling a lock of her hair and giving him the once over. “I’m eighteen. That’s old enough.”

“The wench is thirsty!” Thor announced before running off to who knows where. Tony didn’t want to know where he’d learned the term ‘thirsty’.

May glared at where Thor had disappeared, lowkey looking like an evil step-sister.

“Since you’re here and not interested, I’ve got to motor. I’m young and have a savings account. That means night clubs and shopping sprees!” She started walking off.

“Wait, May! You can’t just leave me here with,” Tony gestured down to Peter. “You’re his aunt.”

“I don’t know that kid from Adam and I don’t have any siblings. Anywhich-way, I’m too young and beautiful to be lugging around a kid.” She walked past them. “This brave new world better be ready for May Reilly!”

Tony felt dazed as he watched her go.

A tugging on his jeans brought him back to reality. “Hungry,” Peter said, his brown eyes wide and imploring.

“Uhm…” Tears started forming in Peter’s eyes the same way they had right before he turned to ash. His heart ached, and he had to rein in the need to sweep Peter up in his arms and hug him. He didn’t want to freak out the kid. “How ‘bout I make you a sandwich. You have teeth, right? Friday, do children this age have teeth?”

“Yes, Boss.” She sounded far too amused.

Tony offered his hand to Peter, who took it. Tony nearly cooed at how small Peter’s hand was in comparison.

“I want food!” Thor bellowed from the other room. Tony picked up the noise of video games.

The kitchen was a mess, either from the kids, May, or Loki. But at least there was food. He made a simple PB&J for Peter.

“No crusts,” Peter said. It was only then that Tony had noticed the kid had scaled the wall and was looking at him from the ceiling. Tony blinked a few times before just accepting it.

“New rule: You have to be sitting down to eat.” Tony set the plate of a (crustless) PB&J and a glass of milk at the kitchen table. Peter pouted, but descended and sat at the table.

Tony thanked Tesla that the kid actually listened to him.

Tony constructed a mile-high sandwich for Thor with everything in it from microgreens to aerosol cheese. “Thor! Food!” Tony called out while placing the plate next to Peter’s.

There was the loud banging of little feet running to the kitchen. He was going full speed and when he tried to stop he skidded right into the fridge, leaving a dent. It didn’t slow him down though. Not a second later he was snarfing up the sandwich with the finesse of a starving hyena.

Tony sighed. How the hell was this his life?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah, so this is a transition chapter and supposed to be lighthearted, but then angst happened... a lot of angst.

* * *

 

Tony was trying to listen, he really was doing his best, but there was only so many times he could listen to a little kid try to count to 100 without his mind wandering. It didn’t help that it was one in the morning and Peter still wasn’t sleepy.

Tony had thought Thor would be the problem child when it came to bedtime, but when Tony had shown him to a guest bedroom Thor had literally dived into bed, shouting his refusal to brush his teeth. It hadn’t been a battle Tony was keen on fighting.

And Tony’s hands were shaking…

But Peter was scared of being alone and in a new place so Tony sat in the chair next to his bed and listened, occasionally correcting him when he missed a number.

Tony knew he couldn’t fault Peter for his anxieties. The last thing the kid knew was that he was spending time with his parents. Since then he’d only been given the bullshit explanation that his parents had left Peter in Tony and Friday’s care. The only reason the kid wasn’t freaking out was because he was enamored with Friday.

But Tony needed a break. His body might have pulled a magic trick and rebooted him, but his mind was still reeling from the battle with Thanos. He could still see his friends and comrades falling one by one. He could smell burnt flesh and the tang of blood. His parched throat, dry from grunts of pain and hollow quips. Worst of all he could hear Thanos’ laughter and jeers as he slew people left and right.

And Tony had to wonder if Thanos didn’t kill him because of his deal with Strange. There had been more than one opportunity for Thanos to land a killing blow on him, but he didn’t.

Peter stumbled over the number 46 and Tony gently set him back on course.

Tony felt nauseous, but not from the memories of the fight that had taken place two days ago.

Tremors, headache, nausea. He knew what was wrong and hated himself for it. He was going through alcohol withdrawal. He might have been clean in his last body, but this one had been fresh off partying by the feel of it.

Tony wanted to curl up in bed and sleep away the pain, but knew he had insomnia. He always did during the first week. It had been the worst during Afghanistan. His body had needed rest to recover from the impromptu surgery, but hadn’t been able to, only finding rest when he passed out from exhaustion.

That should have been a lesson to him, a sign to quit, but after he got home and ate his greasy cheeseburger, next in line was a big glass of scotch.

Peter started flagging and Tony mentally cheered.

“Hey, Peter. How about you lie down and rest your eyes for half an hour.” Peter went to protest. “All that counting made me tired. I can only imagine how you feel.” Peter thought it over before laying down. He was clutching a t-rex plushie to his chest. Tony tucked him in.

Peter’s mouth was silently moving, still counting. It was strangely cute. Tony shook that thought off, instead taking a sip from his ginger ale and grabbing a tablet. He was dreading seeing how the world was handling everything and what the media had to say about him and his fuck-up, but he had to deal with them eventually and he was already feeling like shit, so he might as well do it now.

His lovely Friday, Tesla bless her code, already had the information sorted so he wasn’t wading through the endless chaos that was the internet.

Tony’s headache pulsed behind his eyes as he read the first news article. After Putin’s disappearance and subsequently coming back as a teenager the nation had been in upheaval, power grabs left and right and now that a young Putin was back he was trying to reestablish himself despite having lost most of his memory. The real kicker was that China had decided it was the perfect time to invade Russia, especially now that the Thanos threat had been taken care of.

The president and vice-president of the US had been brought back younger than 35, but their party was still trying to keep them in office since the next in line for the presidency was in the opposing party.

Germany was sending out aid to the rest of Europe, especially Spain and Greece who didn’t have their shit together.

Britain was having a perpetual party since Queen Elizabeth was brought back younger. ‘Long Live the Queen’ was shouted at all hours in a drunken ruckus.

Wakanda was pulling back into itself, becoming an isolated country again in the wake of the alien invasion that ravaged their country and having lost their king. Tony wasn’t sure if T’Challa had come back younger, but the reports said he was still king.

California was trying to leave the US with varying results.

There was also the issue of what to do with people in jail who came back with no memory of committing a crime. There was a new debate on what a life-sentence meant since many people had died then were brought back.

Tony reluctantly looked up himself. As was the norm, people either hated him or loved him. What was new was—Tony sighed—a cult devoted to him. He’d had fan clubs dedicated to him before, but this was different. Their flawed logic was that he killed a god/devil and brought back the dead, thus he was God with a capital ‘G’.

With a heavy dose of exasperation and fatigue, he opened the link to their official website. Like the tableau of Jesus on the cross Tony was painted with an air of otherworldliness. His eyes arms held horizontally at his side, his hands almost beckoning. Chin tilted up and eyes softly closed. In the middle of his chest was the nano-bot housing, glowing softly as his Iron Man suit seemed to inch outwards. Overall, it was ridiculous.

He knew Pepper would get a kick out of it. He was halfway through writing an email to her before he remembered she didn’t know him anymore. The air was knocked out of him, self-loathing and sadness taking its place.

Friday opened the IM function in the top left corner of the tablet, not risking disturbing Peter.

 _‘You alright, Boss?’_ she asked, and Tony smiled despite himself.

He still had his gal Friday, at least. And his platypus. He was lucky compared to most, but then why did he feel so hollow?

Bile rose in this throat. He swallowed it down, only feeling worse. He drank more of his ginger ale.

 _‘Just taking it all in. I’ll be fine,’_ Tony typed out to her. He gave a weak smile to one of her cameras, knowing he didn’t fool her one bit.

His email pinged softly. In the bottom corner of tablet an old picture of Steve appeared with the title of the email right next to it. _‘Please Lend a Hand’_

Tony reluctantly opened the email.

_Tony,_

_I know things have been rough between us. I take full responsibility for that. I’m ecstatic that we put that behind us to fight Thanos. A few things came out of the left field since then. Sam got turned into a 12-year-old. He was a foster kid growing up and he has no one other than me._

_Natasha has disappeared. A camera in Wakanda caught an image of her. She looked 16. We think she might be heading back to Russia. I don’t know what the Russians will do to her. Can you and Friday look for her?_

_Bucky has turned into a 5-year-old. We only met when we were 6. He’s so scared and still missing his arm. He thinks I kidnapped him. I feel so lost and scared that he’ll sneak out at night and I’ll never see him again._

_Every foreigner was kicked out of Wakanda. We’re in a hostel in Antananarivo, Madagascar. I have no access to money or resources now that Natasha is gone._

_I’m begging you to please bring us home._

_Sincerely,_

_Steve Rogers_

Tony sighed and set down the tablet. His eyes rested on Peter. The kid had finally fallen asleep. Tony envied him.

Tony could almost picture the hurt look on Steve’s face. He wouldn’t be surprised if Steve blamed him for Bucky’s condition. He never had a problem blaming him for things before.

Tony wanted to just delete the email and ignore him. He had enough on his plate as is. He didn’t want to deal with accusatory stares and condescending scoldings. But Bucky and Sam didn’t deserve to be left high and dry. They were just kids, scared and in a foreign land.

Tony didn’t know what Natasha’s disappearance meant to him. She had fooled him twice when she’d been one of the ‘good guys’. He could only imagine how shitty she was now that she’d lost her memories.

And Steve’s betrayal still ached. He’d been able to smother the feeling in light of Thanos’ attack, but that had been desperate times…

Tony noticed that Steve hadn’t mentioned Wanda. If she was young again and still had her powers she could cause even more problems for him.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It was just one thing after another.

Tony stood up and nearly fell not a second later. The withdrawal symptoms were only getting worse.

He wished Rhodey was here, but his little sister, Star, had been de-aged. It was a blessing. She used to be a hard drug user and prostituted herself despite all the times they got her in rehab. This was her second chance. Rhodey was splitting his time between home and the Air Force.

He went to the kitchen and got himself a bowl full of ice cream. Alcohol metabolized into sugar and without it his body was being put through the ringer with such a large change.

After a few bites, and an oddly soothing brain freeze, Tony told Friday to compose a curt email to Steve saying he’d send a jet to come get them.

When he was finished with his ice cream he laid down on the couch. He wanted to make it easy for the kids to find him when they woke up, and he knew he should try to sleep. Tony curled up on his side, clutching a pillow to his chest.

The light pollution of New York blocked out the stars, but the buildings seemed to twinkle with delirious light. Tony squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry.

*

It wasn’t the sound of a slamming door or giggles that woke Tony up in the wee hours of the morning. It was the scent of alcohol.

His mouth became dry as he sat up.

May stumbled into the living room, face flushed and eyes glazed.

Tony immediately pinched his nose closed.

“Hello, Mr. Stark.” May gave him a flirty look and licked her lips. Tony’s blood started going southward and he belatedly remembered what had _really_ helped him during his withdrawal, having lots and lots of sex with Pepper.

Tony swore under his breath. “Nope, no, not going to happen.” But May had said she was eighteen and she was clearly willing—but he never took a person’s word when it came to their age and she was black-out drunk. There was no way she could give consent.

“Don’t be like that.” She swayed her hips as she moved closer to him. Tony tried to back up, but the couch kept him in place.

“No!” Tony shouted, desperate and angry. May was taken aback, her glassy eyes widening. “Sleep it off! I’m not having sex with you!” And then she started crying, and it was too much for Tony. He ran to the bathroom and vomited up what felt like curdled cream. His skin was sallow and sweaty as he leaned against the bathroom door.

He missed Pepper so much. When he’d been going through alcohol withdrawal and thrown up she’d gently cradled him in her arms, his anchor in a storm.

Tears stung his eyes. He cursed Thanos for taking Pepper from him twice, Loki for leaving him with Thor, and himself for fucking up again.

*

By midmorning he was composed and hoping the kids were still asleep. He was surprised to see May in the kitchen, flipping pancakes. She looked decidedly guilty, embarrassed, and not quite sober.

Thor was wielding a broken off table leg (from which table Tony wasn’t sure) like a sword and running drills with it. Peter was seated at the kitchen table, drawing on a tablet, thankfully in an art program rather than with a marker. Tony paused, half-wondering if tablets were common when he was that age, then deciding he really didn’t want to know. He had a half-finished plate of pancakes beside him and his t-rex plushie was seated across from him on the table.

“Man of Iron! We must train together. I shall best you and reign supreme!” Thor pointed the table leg in Tony’s direction. Tony, without thought, ruffled Thor’s short hair. Thor became adorably indignant. “I am a Prince of Asgard! You shall unhand me at once!” Tony ignored him and kneeled then pulled him into a hug. Thor squirmed a bit before submitting to it and hugging him back. It was comforting and something Tony sorely needed.

When he let go Thor started huffing and puffing about being treated like a baby. Tony grinned and turned to Peter. Spidey-Kid was watching them with longing and sadness. “Mr. Tony, when is my mom and dad coming back?”

May glanced over at them, clearly worried.

Tony put on a brave face. He sat beside Peter. “Do you believe in time-travel?” Tony asked carefully. Peter gnawed on his lower lip then nodded. “Could you believe this is the future?” Peter’s eyes became wide.

He looked around him, taking in the modern surroundings that couldn’t have been too different than when he’d originally been five. “Like in the Magic Tree House?”

Behind Peter, Friday helpfully brought up a hologram, letting Tony know that it was a series of books were kids time-traveled.

“Yeah, like in the Magic Tree House.”

Peter’s eyes went wide with excitement. “That’s so cool! I wanna see dinos an’ knights an’—But what about my mom and dad?”

“Do you believe in heaven?” Peter’s face went slack. From his peripheral he could see May’s shoulders drop and Thor pause.

Peter started tearing up. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “They’re gone?” he asked, hiccupping with a sob as Tony nodded.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. They’re in heaven now. I know they wish they could be here, but they can’t. They loved you so much.”

“Wh—when wi’ they be back?”

“They can’t come back, Peter. Death is,” the word permanent was on the tongue, but ‘permanent’ was no longer the truth. “I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to see them again until you’re very old and have lived a long life.” And Tony wished that was true, both that there was an afterlife and that Peter would live far into his one-hundreds.

Peter threw the tablet and plate off the table, shattering the reinforced glass and sending ceramic pieces everywhere. “No!” he shouted while grabbing his plushie. He ran out of the room.

Tony moved to follow him, but May brought him to a halt with her hand on his shoulder. “I lost my mom when I was around his age,” May said. “He needs time to process.”

“I agree, Boss. I’ll keep an eye on him for you,” Friday added in.

Tony felt exhausted and shaky. His thought briefly went to Pepper and the child he dreamed of. Morgan Stark had felt so real in that instance. But maybe Pepper not being pregnant was for the best. He clearly didn’t know how to handle being a parent.

Tony brought out a broom and dustpan, hoping the rest of the day would be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are in need of a laugh after this check out my other fic: [One Hell of a Ride](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13352268/chapters/30572229). It's a comedy, frostiron and Tony Stark/Hela Odinsdottir.
> 
> Next chapter will be lighter, I promise ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter. There was more I was going to add in, but I was really down and I could use some love from you guys before I work up the strength to write more.

* * *

 

May crashed shortly after breakfast, using one of the guest rooms. Friday had sneakily bought her clothes and essentials while Tony hadn’t been paying attention. Why she’d done it, Tony didn’t know. In retrospect, it was probably a wise decision. He didn’t need another thing to worry about. He’d glanced at her history when he first learned who Spider-Man was. She’d been a partier before settling down with Ben Parker.

Tony had Happy going to May and Peter’s old apartment and getting anything of sentimental value from it to bring to the tower. Hopefully a picture of his parents would ease Peter’s pain. And for May, knowing she was a successful nurse might inspire her to get her act together.

Tony was glad Happy was still the man he knew, but one quite a bit younger. He’d lost just under two decades of memories and age. But even back then they’d been friends and he’d been Tony’s driver.

They hadn’t had a real chance to talk though. Tony had been sending him on constant errands, helping the medical and childcare staffs with getting whatever they needed on Tony’s dime.

It was near lunchtime when the sound of thunder shook the tower. Tony, admittedly, hadn’t been paying much attention to Thor. Instead, leaving him to play-fight with Friday’s holograms in the living room.

Tony set down the tablet he’d been working on (moving funds, opening shelters, distributing aid) and left his office. He found little Thor pressed against the window, his shirt sweat stained and eyes distant.

“Hey, kiddo? Doing alright?” Tony ventured. It was the stillest Tony had ever seen Thor since he became a child. Even during breakfast he’d been chatting up a storm about his favorite foods in Asgard.

Thor didn’t turn towards Tony as he spoke. “When shall my brother return?” He clacked his forehead against the window, despondent. “With Father and Mother dead… Man of Iron, you must know, why did Loki not embrace me before he left?”

Yikes. It was landmine central. “Let’s get some lemonade and talk about it.”

Tony headed to the kitchen and Thor reluctantly followed. Tony set a clean pitcher in the sink and Friday started filling it with cold water. Thor clambered up a barstool. Tony pulled out the sugary lemonade mix that Pepper hated—

“How will lemons aid me?” Thor asked, pouting. Tony chuckled despite himself, burying thoughts of Pepper.

‘Everyone could use a drink,’ was on the tip of Tony’s tongue, but he didn’t say. He hated himself for ever having the thought. “You need to stay hydrated if you want to grow up big and strong.”

“Wise words, Man of Iron.” Thor laughed mirthlessly. “I must best my previous self for I was killed in a single blow from a rabbit.” The sky grew darker, contrasting with the flashes of lightning.

“It’s… a bit more complicated than that.” Tony started adding in the sugary mix to the water, watching the yellow crystals dissolve. Tony didn’t even know where to start.

“I was weak. I must become stronger.”

“You weren’t weak, Thor. Rocket thought hurting you was the only way he could get his best friend back. He used everything he knew about you and made a weapon. He set out to hurt you, and that’s on him, not you.”

“I must become stronger!” Thor shouted while slamming his small fist on the counter, breaking straight through the marble. “I am Prince Thor of Asgard!” Thor began stamping around, smashing the tile. “I will slay all those you stand before me!” Sparks flew from his hand. Tony had to duck behind the counter.

“Thor!” Tony tried to call out, but wasn’t heard.

“I will kill all the rabbits! That will show them!” He grabbed a barstool and smashed it against the counter.

“Thor!” Tony tried again.

“Come here, rabbit! I’ll kill you!” Lightbulbs burst, spraying the area with glass.

“Damn it,” Tony whispered to himself. He instinctually reached out for his nano-bots to form his suit, but felt nothing calling back.

May peaked out from the hallway, in Hello Kitty PJs and a Kween eye-mask shoved up her forehead. Tony waved her away.

“Thor,” Loki’s voice called out. The tiny, raging god paused, looking around, but no one was in sight. “What would mother say if she saw you acting like that?” Loki’s voice was sharp. There was also a gentle undertone of reprimand Tony had never heard him use before.

“I want the rabbits dead! Kill ‘em! Kill ‘em!”

“This is no way for a warrior to act,” Loki said, plowing onward. “You shame us all.” That seemed to get through to Thor. The seven-year-old halted his tirade. His fists clenched at his side and his face became a dangerous shade of red. “Now stop giving the Man of Iron difficulties. You are a guest in his home and I’d wager he has more important things to do than to babysit you. And don’t waste my time either. With you now a child all of Asgard rests on my shoulders.” Thor began to shake as he glared at the ground.

A faint buzzing that Tony hadn’t noticed before ceased. Tony figured it was the magical call disconnecting.

Thor took in a shuddered breath before he silently began to cry.

Tony came out of his hiding place, careful not to step on any of the broken glass or tiles with his bare feet.

Thor tried to wipe away his tears, but they kept coming. “Stupid Loki,” he grumbled. “Stupid magic. Sissy queer should know his place.”

Tony physically recoiled at hearing such a small child say something so harsh.

“Yeah, no. We don’t use that kind of language in my house, young man. You’re in timeout.” Tony grabbed one of the upturned barstools and took it to the corner of the kitchen. “Park your butt here for,” Tony hesitated, having no idea how long timeouts were supposed to be.

“Five minutes,” Friday, the wind beneath his wings, said.

“I am a prince! I will not be subjected—”

“One more word and the time doubles. And after your timeout we’re going to work together to clean up this mess. Understand?” Thor downright sneered at Tony before marching over to the barstool and climbing up it. He crossed his arms while glaring at Tony. “Friday, you’re in charge.”

Tony kept his features schooled as he walked out of the kitchen, stopping just out of sight before he nearly collapsed, curling into a ball and clutching his head. He wasn’t cut out of this. Why the hell had Loki thought it was a good idea to leave Thor with him. That asshole was obviously monitoring the situation.

There were starbusts behind his eyes. His body fluctuated from burning to freezing, and some part of him wished he’d just disintegrated along with the Infinity Gauntlet.

A gentle hand on his shoulder made him flinch and nearly fall over. “It’s just me,” May said. Up close Tony noticed that her face was rounder than when he first met her. “I think you need a break. Go watch some cat videos. I hear that’s what people do in the future do to laugh. I’ll help Thor clean up.”

“You don’t have to do that, May. He’s my responsibility.” But Tony already felt himself wavering.

May gave a halfhearted smile. “Listen, macho man, I’m a screw up, but I can handle a pouting kid.”

“He’s not just a kid though. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

May rolled her eyes in the way only teenage girls could. “If he goes all thundercat again Friday will let you know and I’ll duck and cover.” May smirked. “Go. But if you really want to pay me back get me one of those thin cellphones. I got mad digits while I was clubbing.”

“Deal.” Tony pulled himself up. His vision whited out a moment before he could see again. He shook it off and went to his bedroom. He left the door open to listen for any trouble. “Cue up cute animal videos.”

“I think you’ll like these ones, Boss. They’re all about pets you brought back younger and reaction videos to pets reappearing,” Friday said. There was a smile in her voice, even though she had no face to smile with.

Tony made himself comfortable in bed, a soft blanket around his shoulders, but otherwise above the overpriced blankets.

Most people had been too caught up with losing half of humanity to notice half of the animal kingdom had been lost too. But with the battle over…

The first video was of a teenage girl holding a puppy. She was blubbering and Tony quickly felt his eyes tear up. The video was directed to him specifically. She was thanking Tony profusely for bringing back her dog. They had been scheduled to take him to the vet to be put down before Thanos attacked, but now he was young and in perfect health. She had her best friend back and could only cry and express her gratitude to him.

“You’re supposed to be making me laugh, not cry.” Tony said while grabbing a tissue and blowing his nose.

“Sorry, Boss.” She didn’t sound the least bit sorry though.

One of his favorite cat videos came on and Tony smiled.

Nearly an hour went by with the nearly indistinguishable sound of distant cleaning coupled with animal videos. At some point Peter had joined him and fallen asleep curled at Tony’s side.

Tony gazed at him. Peter’s little button nose twitched. He was clutching the side of Tony’s jeans in a death grip that belied his young age. He looked so innocent… And despite everything, Tony felt hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my experience, people seem to forget Thor was a total arse to Loki pre-Jane (anyone remember 'Know your place, brother?) That mentality had to start young.
> 
> I chose the term 'sissy queer' since I thought that would be translation of argr. It makes no sense that Tony would hear the word argr when Thor said it since, ya know, the All-Speak. 
> 
> Next chapter: Happy, Guardians of the Galaxy, and more!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slaved over the oven all day to write this!

* * *

 

“This is so weird to me,” Happy said while dropping off a boxful of toys. Tony was practically brining Toys-R-Us out of bankruptcy by all the toys he was buying for kids around the world. Happy also had a few boxes from May’s apartment. “A week ago we were exploding computers to mess with the Y2K-ers. Now you’re a superhero and a dad.”

“Not a dad,” Tony quickly corrected. “Just a babysitter.” Peter was hiding behind Tony’s legs, clutching his t-rex. Peter was also sucking his thumb. Tony wasn’t sure if that was normal for a four-year-old. He’d ask Friday later.

Tony grabbed some of the boxes that were in the elevator. He eyed the box of tiles. Thankfully they were on a cart. He didn’t want to risk Happy’s or his own back by trying to lift it.

Thor and May had just finished cleaning the debris out of the kitchen. Next step was to repair it. May had reported to Tony that Thor had been a scowling mess, making a production of throwing pieces of tile down hard in the bag. He only stopped doing that when May picked up the bag and all its contents went tumbling out the bottom since Thor had damaged the bag with his theatrics.

After getting cleaned up, once again unwillingly, he was taking an evening nap. May followed his lead and went to sleep too. Tony had the feeling that she was going to go partying again tonight. He couldn’t fault her for that. Tony had been a hundred times worse when he was her age.

They sat down their boxes and without warning, Tony gave Happy a hug. It felt so good to be around another full-fledged adult, and even more so a familiar face. After a beat Happy hugged him back. Tony sagged in his hold.

“It will be alright,” Happy said to him, patting him on his back.

“I can’t believe you’re wearing that funky cologne again,” Tony mumbled against Happy’s shoulder. A laugh reverberated in Happy’s chest, making Tony smile. He pulled back. “Friday, order something for him that doesn’t smell like lion piss.”

Happy smiled bashfully. “It’s not that bad.”

“Once your date threw a glass of wine at you because your cologne smelled so bad.”

“That sounds like a lie, but I can’t be sure.”

“And you’ll never know.” The pair laughed before going to grab more boxes. He sent Peter to the living room so that they didn’t risk stumbling over him with their arms full. He was reluctant, but Tony promised him that Friday would look after him.

“Boss Man, Karen is trying to contact you,” Friday said after all the boxes had been moved.  

Tony paused, trying to remember who Karen was. “Karen from accounting?” he asked.

“Karen is the name Peter chose for his AI.”

“I didn’t know he renamed Shelob.” The kid probably hadn’t even gotten the reference. Tony would have to rectify that and introduce him to the Lord of the Rings series when he was a bit older. “Put her through.”

“Hello, Mr. Stark,” Karen said, sounding overly polite. Obviously it had been too long since they last talked. His heart twinged. He barely kept proper track of his baby-AIs. How was he supposed to look after flesh and blood kids?

He pushed that thought down. “Psh, Kare-bear, call me Tony. We’re family.”

Karen laughed. It was a soft sound that Tony didn’t remember programming. “I think I picked up that habit from Peter. I’ve enjoyed working with him, but I’ve been on standby since…” She didn’t need to clarify, and Tony was glad she didn’t. “I want to help him, but IDK how to.”

She made him feel old, despite him having lost about a decade of wear and tear. Unconsciously he tapped the middle of his chest. No staccato of his nails against an arc reactor casing, or the dull thuds the artificial sternum used to create under his fingers. Tony was au natural now. And that made him feel so vulnerable. He’d need to figure out a way to house his nano-bots, now that there wasn’t an abused crater in his chest. Hmm, the obvious next step was to inject it in himself, bots so small they could painlessly come out of his skin pores…

Tony realized that he’d completely zoned out what Karen had said. He quickly pulled the information out of his subconscious. She had suggested integrating herself into Peter’s stuffed t-rex. It wasn’t a bad idea considering the kid took it everywhere he went.

“I’ll have to talk to him about it. Good thinking Shel—Karen.”

“Thanks, Pops,” Karen said. Tony shuddered at the new nickname, but didn’t protest.

“You’ve got this, Happy?” Tony asked, gesturing to the box of groceries. Happy was already unpacking them, but Tony still felt the need to ask. Happy waved him off, tearing open a package. “There better be some double stuffed Oreos left when I come back.”

Happy snorted, his mouth too full for him to respond any other way.

Tony strolled into the living room, trying to find the right words. He nearly cooed when he saw Peter. He was in the beginning stages of building a pillow fort, struggling to take off a couch cushions, using all his weight to tug at them.

“Need help?” Tony offered, trying not to beam. Peter was almost too cute to comprehend. And despite his pounding headache and constant shaking everything felt alright.

*

Tony was bent over in the blanket fort. Peter had readily agreed to giving his t-rex a voice, making his friend come to life. They were on a more difficult matter now. Peter was sitting on Tony’s lap, looking at a scrapbook together. It had clearly been put together by May, pre-de-aging, a monument to Peter’s parents.

Tony had a steady supply of tissues for the crying four-year-old.

“This is how you’ll look when you grow older.” Tony pointed to a picture where Peter was missing his front teeth. “And here’s Ms. May when she’s older.” May and who Tony assumed was Ben Parker were holding hands with young Peter, lifting him off the ground.

Peter sniffled then said, “Ms. May is pretty.”

“Yes, she is.”

Peter touched the top corner of the page and turned it, his finger sticking due to his spider abilities. He was adapting to them smoothly.

“I have awaken and demand sustenance!” Thor shouted from the other room, his vocabulary throwing Tony off.

“You ready for dinner?” Tony asked Peter. He nodded in response. They crawled out of the fort, Tony’s back ached as he stood up.

Thor appeared in the doorway, and without a second’s hesitation he rushed the pillow fort and body slammed it. The sheets, cushions, and blankets tumbled into disarray as Thor laughed.

Peter began crying. Tony swept him up in his arms, his back twinging in protest.

“Thor, that wasn’t very nice,” Tony scolded, feeling a fresh wave of exhaustion overtake him. He rocked Peter on his hip on instinct. “Peter spent over an hour making that.”

“So? He should not have built it there if he didn’t want me to smash it!” Was this what Loki grew up with? If so, Tony couldn’t blame him for being such an asshole. On the other hand, Loki might have been just as petulant.

“Time-out in the kitchen.” Thor looked indignant, but Tony wasn’t having any of it. “ _Now_.”

“This isn’t fair!” Thor began stomping towards the kitchen and shouting, causing Peter to cry even harder. “I’m Thor Odinson! Prince of Asgard! First son of Odin!” Thor continued ranting, but Tony was more focused soothing Peter.

“Hey, we’ll make another one tomorrow. One that’s bigger and better, just me and you, kiddo.”

Peter took in a shuddering breath. “Really?”

“Of course.” Tony used his thumb to wipe away Peter’s tears. The little kid hugged him tighter, burying his face against Tony’s chest.

He hummed while taking Peter to the kitchen.

Thor was sitting on the barstool in the corner, his tiny arms crossed over his chest. His glare was nearly burning, not fitting his small stature at all. Tony did a double take. Was Thor’s eyes always two colors? He could have sworn they were blue, but one appeared to be light brown.

Tony ignored it for now, more important things coming to mind. “Fri, let May know that dinner will be ready in five.”

“Yes, Boss Man. It appears that she’s getting ready for another night on the town presently.”

Great. Tony didn’t need the scent of alcohol following her in again at any odd hour. His withdrawals were tough enough without her slapping what he wanted most in his face.

“Just… make sure she sobers up and takes a shower before I see her when she comes back.”

“I’ll let her know. Should I clarify the reason behind it?” Tony paused in thought before nodding. His history with alcohol was well documented. One more person knowing couldn’t hurt.

Tony put Peter down, despite the little boy’s protests. Tony just ruffled his hair and told him not to worry.

Dinner was ready-made, only needing a quick zap in the microwave. He busied himself setting out plates and glasses. By the time the food was heated up Thor’s time-out was done and May had joined them. Instead of 80s glam May was rocking modern clubbing clothes.

“You’ve adapted fast,” Tony said while setting out the pot of spaghetti and meatballs by the bowl of salad.

May grinned. “The internet has been a big help.”

“The internet is a dangerous place,” Tony warned, only half joking. “Oh yeah, I got you a cell phone so that you can reach me in case of emergencies.” He went to the kitchen to retrieve it. “Friday can show you all its features.” He handed over the device to her.

“Thank you, Tony.”

“No problem.” Tony was just happy that things were fairly simple when it came to May. “Alright, kiddos. Lemonade, milk, or water?”

“Lemonade, please,” Peter said, rocking forward and backwards in his seat. His eyes were still a tad pink, but otherwise he looked recovered.

“I want mead!” Thor barked.

Tony could feel another fight coming on. “Mead is for adults, Thor. You’re still a growing boy.”

“Father lets me and Loki drink mead. He’s the king of Asgard! He knows what’s best!”

“You heard him,” May backed Tony up. “You either get lemonade, milk, water, or nothing.”

“I want mead!” Thor slammed his fist on the table, thankfully not breaking it.

“Do you need to go into time-out again?”

Thor stood on his seat. “No! I want mead! Mead! Mead! Mead!” He jumped up and down with every word. “Meadddddddd!”

The wooden chair cracked, and Tony had enough. “That’s it, mister. You won’t get mead. If you don’t like what we have then you’ll have nothing at all. Now sit down or you won’t have any dinner either.” Tony was barely holding onto his temper.

Thor grabbed his plate and smashed it on the ground, jumping onto the shards with his leather boots. “MeeaaEEaaaAAED!”

Tony sucked in a deep breath, but before he could say anything he could regret May grabbed Tony’s arm. He deflated in an instance. Thor began kicking the shards in different directions, still shouting. “Friday, what should I do?”

“Thor,” Friday said with a calm authority. “You will go to your room until you’ve calmed down.”

“No!” Thor shouted. He reached for his glass to destroy it, but Tony was quick to put it out of his reach.

“You’re acting dishonorable,” Friday continued. “Act like a prince of Asgard and go to your room until you’ve calmed down.”

Thor thankfully seemed to be considering her words. He gave the broken plate one more stomp before leaving.

Tony sagged in his chair. “Thanks, My Gal Friday, May.”

“Why is he so loud?” Peter asked. He was clutching his t-rex again, rubbing his cheek against the soft material.

Tony didn’t have a good answer so he just shrugged in response. “You two start eating. I’ll get your lemonade, Peter. What do you want to drink, May?” he asked before noticing she already had a glass of water.

He nodded before going back into the kitchen, getting lemonade and cleaning tools. In the dining room May had served Peter salad and he was eating it without protests. He set the lemonade down.

After Thor’s temper-tantrum and Tony cleaning up the mess, dinner was actually peaceful.

*

“Boss Man,” Friday said softly. Tony groaned and pulled his pillow over his head. He’d just fallen asleep for the first time since his withdrawal induced insomnia started. “Why are you doing this to me?” Tony groaned out.

“Nebula and the Guardians of the Galaxy have landed on the heli-pad and are requesting entry.” Her voice was whisper soft, but grated him as if she was yelling right in his ear.

He rolled onto his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. “Is Rocket with them?” Thor attacking the ‘rabbit’ was the absolute last thing Tony needed.

“No, and neither is the sentient tree Groot.”

Sentient tree? There had been a sentient tree?

Whatever.

“Let them in. Just tell them to be quiet. The kids are sleeping.” Hopefully.

Tony rolled out of bed, pulling on his discarded jeans, but not bothering to put a shirt over his tank top. He took a moment to brush his hands over his face, try to wake up. His mind felt sluggish, but not just from being asleep. There was a glazing of fog over his thoughts. Coffee would help a little, but only worsen his shaking.

He could handle the shaking. But his mind was a sacred place, his last refuge, beaten and battered by anxiety, insomnia, and regret.

“Start the coffee at the living room bar.” A second later Tony heard a crashing.

“I’m sorry. The coffee machine has been destroyed by Drax the Destroyer.”

“Of course.” Tony padded his way to the living room.

“Nothing sneaks up on me,” Drax said, his fist still embedded in the coffee maker.

“Tesla give me strength,” Tony whispered under his breath. Drax, Peter Quill, and Nebula were all adults, but they had two little girls with them. One with green skin and the other with antennas.

“Where’s the booze?” Peter asked from behind the bar. He looked gruff, almost as bad as when he learned his girlfriend—

It came together. Peter had lost Gamora to death once and again to young age.

Little Gamora was eyeing the room with distaste. She touched the tip of her boot against the mess of blankets and pillows that Tony hadn’t had a chance to clean earlier.

The other girl, Mantis, in contrast was leaping up and down in spot, looking like she was about to explode with excess energy.

Tony met eyes with Nebula. They’d come to an understanding while on their trip in the Milano back from Titan. She gave a half-shrug. “We have no where else to go.”

Peter knocked down the bottles that were purely just for show. “What the hell, man! Seriously! Where is the booze?!”

“There is none,” Tony snapped. He walked away from them, heading to the kitchen/the nearest coffee machine. He stumbled on the uneven tile and bare floor, cursing under his breath. He could sense rather than hear Nebula following him.

“With your son back—”

“He’s not my son.” Tony pulled out a coffee cup and poured himself a generous amount from the percolator.

“My sister’s home world knows of her association with Thanos. If I returned her there they’d tear her apart. Mantis has no home world.” Nebula opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of ketchup. She gave it a discerning look before opening it and squirting some in her mouth. She drank it all down. Tony didn’t have the heart to tell her it was a condiment. “Peter can’t take care of Gamora and I have no prospects. You’re my only option.”

“No, I’m not having another kid dropped at my feet. This isn’t a daycare.” Tony took a sip of the scolding coffee.

“Not drop off. I’d stay and help you with them.”

Tony scoffed, nearly laughed. “No offense, Nebz, but you’re not exactly the mothering type.”

Nebula frowned, but didn’t look insulted.

“Peter can’t stand to be around Gamora now that she’s like this. Drax wants to return to his home world and start a new life. Mantis isn’t even an afterthought to either of them.” Nebula leaned against the counter, crossing her arms and looking at him directly. “Tony.”

He sighed. She was staring at him unwaveringly.

Tony raised his eyes skyward. “Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drax lost a few years. 
> 
> Next chapter: nail polish and possible flashback.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song mentioned: Rocket Man by Elton John
> 
> So, somehow this became a half flashback chapter, but it really shows Tony and Nebula's relationship. *shrugs*

* * *

 

_With a few key strokes Nebula turned on the Milano. The end notes of a song Tony couldn’t bother to identify played. He barely heard it over his own thoughts, replaying Peter’s last words, the look of absolute fear on his face, feeling him become ash in his arms._

_Tony had gathered as much of the ash up as he could, kissing it in his shaking hands. He could still taste the ash on his lips._

_His pockets felt unnaturally heavy, as much of Peter’s ashes as he could carry in them. He tried not to move too much, both to keep the ashes in his pocket and to not aggravate his stab wound. He mentally connected with the nanobots there. They had sinched off the bleeding and were working to knit his flesh back together._

_It wasn’t nearly as painful as when he’d used them to rebreak his left arm so that it could heal properly after the abuse it took during the Civil War._

‘Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids’

_The melancholy voice of Elton John pulled Tony out of his thoughts._

_He slammed his hand against the plethora of buttons in front of him, trying to turn off the music._

_Nebula hissed as the starship lurched in reaction. “You moron! What are you doing?!” She shouted while expertly undoing the damage he caused._

‘In fact it’s cold as hell’

_“Turn this fucking song off!” Panic was overcoming him, chipping away at his good sense._

_Nebula pushed him out of his seat and away from the controls with her leg. Tony scrambled to get up, but then the music stopped and with it his struggle._

_He curled up in a ball, tears falling as sobs wracked him._

_There was the crunching of machinery before the remains of a Zune was thrown at him, hitting his shoulder then bouncing onto the floor._

_He wasn’t sure how long he cried for. It could have been minutes or hours._

_“Now is not the time for tears,” Nebula said, standing over him._

_Tony turned onto his back, staring up at her from the ground. Ashes fell from his pocket. He sat up abruptly, desperately gathering the ashes back into his pockets._

_Nebula made a noise of distaste._

*

Tony hadn’t been able to fall back asleep. Peter Quill and Drax had departed shortly after they arrived, saying goodbye to no one.

Nebula watched the kids, which entailed glaring and being glared at by Gamora. Mantis, on the other hand, was rolling around on the broken pillow-fort, amazed by how soft it was.

Tony was running low on bedrooms in the penthouse and all the other floors were being used as shelters, excluding the one directly below his. He didn’t like it, but that one would be where the remaining rogue Avengers would be staying.

He had to double up one bedroom for Gamora and Mantis. They both looked to be around seven and hopefully wouldn’t fight. He had Friday put in an order for two twin sized beds so they wouldn’t have to share the king sized bed more than one night.

Nebula would have her own room, situated between May’s and the girls’.

Friday had sent May a message updating her on the situation. Whether she’d checked her cellphone was another matter altogether.

Nebula had ushered the two little girls to their room before going onto the party deck to stare at the night sky. Tony didn’t bother her, sensing she needed some alone time.

He decided since he couldn’t sleep he would clean out all remnants of Pepper from their room—from _his_ room. There were plenty of leftover boxes from Happy’s earlier deliveries.

Her scent still lingered in the room, her work out clothes on the ground where they’d been discarded after he’d abandoned her in the park in favor of following a wizard and Bruce.

Tony put them in a box labelled ‘dirty clothes’ along with what he dug out of the hamper. Tony chuckled dryly to himself. He’d learned how to do laundry in Afghanistan. When he’d returned she’d been amazed when he did a load of laundry himself.

But he couldn’t force himself to clean her clothes now, to face the fact that he’d lost her again.

Her side of the closet was emptied out, hangers and all shoved into boxes. He was less than careful with her shoes, remembering all the occasions he’d bought her pairs as presents and apologies.

Had her engagement ring turned to ash in that devastating moment, or had she been so frustrated with him that she hadn’t been wearing it? It wasn’t in her collection of jewelry. She could probably finance her college education if she sold it. Not that she’d ever want for money if Tony had his way.

After her toiletries and make up… her perfume. His heart felt like it was being shredded. He kissed the bottle of her favorite perfume, not being able to help himself. He packed it with more care than the rest of her things.

He took all the boxes to the foyer of the penthouse, right next to the elevator. Happy would take care of them. Friday would make sure of it.

Tony made himself another coffee and then made one for Nebula. He joined her outside, a comfortable silence between them.

*

_“I can’t fix this,” Nebula said without preemption. Tony hadn’t even heard her coming. They were in Wakanda a day after everything had gone wrong. It was after one of the strategy meetings. Everyone was giving Nebula a wide-berth, not that she was there to make any friends. “You’re a mechanic.”_

_Tony turned his eyes away from the pocked marked countryside of Wakanda. All the human bodies had been hauled off, but it was still littered with alien remains. A few had been taken to labs to be dissected, more out of trying to find a weakness than for scientific discovery. They hadn’t accepted that there wouldn’t be another wave of them yet. Hadn’t accepted that they’d already lost._

_“I can’t reach my shoulder blade.” Nebula pulled off her shirt, modesty a foreign concept to her._

_“I don’t have a toolkit,” Tony said, his voice monotone. Nebula twisted her left breast, it clicked out of place, becoming detached. She handed it to him. There was an assortment of small tools in it. She also gave him a sharp knife before sitting down in front of him._

_“Follow the curve of my right shoulder blade with the tip of the knife.” He followed her instructions without hesitation. Her skin was a weird mixture of flesh and durable plastic, like nothing he’d ever seen before. She didn’t even flinch. “Cut horizontal then peel the skin back. You’ll be able to see what’s wrong with my wiring when I raise my arm.” Grey puss like blood oozed out of the smooth cut._

_They worked in silence, a blunt contrast to the shouting he’d just left behind._

_It was as close to peaceful he’d felt since he lost Peter._

*

Tony went into the dining room.

May came and went in the wee hours of the morning, thankfully not smelling like alcohol. May introduced herself and Nebula grunted in response.

“She’s staying here too. You should play nice with her.” There wasn’t much conviction behind his words, too tired to risk raising her ire.

“I was not raised to ‘play nice’.”

Tony leaned heavily on the table. His third cup of coffee was lukewarm, but no less appetizing.

“You gonna raise Gamora like that?” Nebula’s lips twisted, as if she was tasting something foul. “Not to mention the rest of your winning personality.”

Nebula pulled out a dagger and slammed it into the already damaged table. Tony didn’t react. “That’s part of the reason I brought them here,” Nebula admitted. “Your personality is better than mine.”

Tony laughed humorlessly. “Thanks, I think.” That was probably the first time someone had genuinely complimented his personality in at least two decades. “I’m no role model, Nebz.”

Nebula snorted. “I know that, but you spoke of your AIs to me. You said they are like your children. You raised them, and they turned out fine.”

“Ultron didn’t.”

“Black Bug spoke of that. Thanos’ still had a large influence on the Mind Stone during its inception.”

Black Bug? Probably Natasha. He wasn’t surprised she tried to drive a wedge between him and Nebula during their short time all on the same side. It just hurt to acknowledge it.

“It’s Black Widow, not Black Bug.” Tony disregarded Nebula saying Thanos had a hand in Ultron. It was too convenient of an excuse to be true. “Raising an AI is different than raising a kid. Once things settle down I’m going to find Peter a home and set you and the girls up somewhere. Then I’ll…”

Then he’d what? The Big Bad he’d always feared was dead. Someone would take his place and Tony would don his armor once again, but without Pepper… The Avengers had already abandoned him. He didn’t want to be some old man alone in a tower, only needed and wanted when the world was in peril.

“I’d wager you’d already been toiling away at setting Terra right.”

“I fucked up when I brought everyone back. It’s the least I can do.”

Nebula rolled her black eyes. They almost looked beady up close. “You hero types make no sense.” She sipped at her coffee. Her fingers began to drum on the table, glinting dagger still in between them. “You’ve done more good for the universe than any being before you.”

“Only after I failed it.”

Nebula kicked out the seat beneath him, sending him sprawling onto the floor. “Shit!” He took a deep breath, calming his racing heart. “You’re such an asshole.”

Nebula chuckled darkly.

Tony got back to his feet, righting his chair and sitting down heavily on it. He ran his fingers through his hair. “I may have needed that,” Tony admitted.

*

_There was a lull in the building of another space craft. Material was being trucked in. Tony was leaning over the schematics when Nebula appeared by his side._

_“He knows your name,” Nebula said. “Thanos does not take notice of any one other than his children.”_

_“He said I was cursed with knowledge, just like him.” Tony let out a huff of air. “Whatever the hell that means.”_

_“How he thinks has always alluded me.” Nebula tilted her head, the light glaring on the metal of her forehead. “Maybe he wanted you as a son, or a partner.”_

*

Tony noticed that the dagger in between them was one of the two that went through Thanos’ skull. “Where’s the other?” he asked while brushing his thumb over the hilt, but not pulling it out of the table.

“I gave it to Gamora. Then she attacked me with it.” Nebula smiled. “I won.”

“Great, another pint-sized menace.” Maybe Gamora could knock some sense into Thor. Or maybe they’d team up on Tony. “What does she remember?”

“She’d been with Thanos a few years. It was long enough for her to become indoctrinated by him.”

Tony cringed. “I’m guessing she wasn’t too happy when you told her you killed him.”

Nebula’s smile grew. “She said he was dead because he was weak.” Tony didn’t know whether to laugh or not. “She’s hiding something from me though. When we arrived on the planet where she died, Gamora had climbed up a cliff and was talking with a red-faced being. Peter killed him before I could interrogate him for information.” Nebula chuckled. “Then she attacked Peter. She disarmed him and went for a fatal blow. She only stopped because she recognized my voice. She didn’t recognize my face though.”

Nebula clenched her fist. Tony could almost hear her mechanics whirring.

Their conversation petered off. Tony refilled their coffees, ignoring his own shaking.

The sunrise was bleak, fitting Tony’s disposition. Hopefully it wasn’t an indicator of Thor’s mood.

“First lesson,” Tony said while getting up, “making breakfast.”

“Me and Gamora were raised on dehydrated rations and herb water.” She still followed him into the kitchen though.

“Herb water? Yeah, we have tea.” Pepper loved tea. He didn’t let that thought slow him down, instead opening the cupboard where the different types were located. Nebula began tearing them open, sampling the different dried leaves.

Tony turned away from her, pulling out the waffle griddle and ingredients.

She gave him a disgusted look that he didn’t see. “I was told you were wealthy. Don’t you have servants to cook for you?”

Tony smirked wryly. “If you were hoping for people to serve you, you came to the wrong tower. I’ll order in food, but,” words escaped him.

“But you don’t trust anyone to roam around your home freely.” Tony didn’t respond. “Then why did you accept me?”

*

_The room was tense. Everyone was arguing. They had to change the plan now that Thor had been murdered._

_Everyone was talking at once and nothing was getting done._

_Tony had been biting his tongue, tired of being cut off every time he opened his mouth. They all kept underestimating Thanos. Tony and Nebula were the only ones who fought him directly._

_Everyone else somehow didn’t comprehend the power the Infinity Gauntlet gave Thanos, despite seeing it in action, despite what Nebula and Thor had told them about it._

_Everyone was in denial but him and Nebula._

_They exchanged a look from across the room. He could tell that she was just as frustrated as he was._

_Tony stepped forward and into the fray. “If you all don’t stop talking about nuking Thanos, then I’ll just fight him alone,” he announced to the room._

_Steve was the first to react. “This isn’t something you can do on your own, Tony. This has to be a team effort.”_

_“Then I’ll go with him,” Nebula said, “and take all my knowledge of Thanos and where he is with me.” That got their attention. They were all at once focused on Tony and Nebula. “Now that you’re listening, Stark had a good idea if any of you had bothered to shut your hole long enough to hear him.”_

*

The waffle batter was made. Nebula was steadily dicing fruit with a kitchen knife.

“Tell me about Mantis. I know she’s some sort of narco-empath or something.” He sprayed the griddle. From one of the boys’ rooms he heard Friday talk, then Karen. Peter must be awake.

“Another ‘shitty dad’, as you would put it.”  The sound of her chopping fruit was rhythmic and without hesitation. “Quill’s father was a Celestial, an ancient being that could manipulate matter on a molecular level… Mantis was his pet. He used her abilities to sleep.”

Tony wasn’t even surprised. He put batter on the griddle. It hissed pleasantly in response.

“Any family other than that?”

Nebula shrugged. “He took her from her home world when she was still a pupa. If she had a family she never knew them.” She paused in her dicing. “Mantis was naïve as an adult. I highly doubt she was any wiser as a child.”

“And her powers? Her ability?” What if she felt his emotions and they scarred her…

“I didn’t examine her.” Nebula made a deep noise that might have been a chuckle. “She tried to touch every button in the Milano. It drove Quill mad.” Yeah, she definitely chuckled. “She is hesitant when it comes to touching people though.”

“Good,” Tony whispered, but he was certain that Nebula heard him.

Peter trundled into the kitchen, sleepy eyed and plushie in hand. He gaped and Nebula who sneered down at him. “Are you an angel?”

And so the day began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm frustrated that Loki hasn't shown up yet, but the muses do whatever they want to!


	6. Chapter 6

Peter’s chin rested on the table. He was intently watching Tony perform ‘surgery’ on his t-rex, now named K-Rex.

Tony was a surprisingly good seamstress, or whatever the male version of that was. Cutting holes in his shirts for the arc reactor then for the nano-bot housing, he needed to stitch the edges so that they wouldn’t fray. The various times he had to stitch himself up also helped.

Tony had to change out the stuffing for material that was less flammable since the tech he’d be putting installing would put off some heat. New eyes, with camera lenses. A few handmade gadgets so that Karen’s voice could come through the mouth and keep her basic capabilities even when out of internet range. He couldn’t help but add a small light on the t-rex’s chest. He finished it off with good ol’ fashion d batteries.

Peter’s eyes lit up as Tony handed the t-rex back.

“K-Rex? Peter to K-Rex! Are you there?!” Peter asked dramatically.

“Captain Parker! Is that you?! We thought we lost you during that last battle!” Peter ran off with K-Rex, an unknown adventure awaiting them.

Tony relaxed in his seat, sliding the leftover fluff and snippets of thread into the trashcan that he’d pulled up to the table earlier. He was left with bits of wires and tech, but was too tired to play with it like he wanted to.

He leaned backwards, tipping the chair far enough back to peek into the living room. Thor was once again pouting, even going so far as to skip breakfast.

His first meeting with Nebula had been less than ideal…

*

_Tony had been wiping syrup off of Peter’s face with a wet paper towel. “Stop that,” Tony said without looking away from Peter. Nebula growled and slammed the bottle of (authentic) maple syrup on the table._

_“No drinkin’ the syrup,” Peter repeated Tony’s earlier words, but was one thousand times cuter._

_“That’s right, kiddo.” Tony booped him on the nose. “Wash your hands then you can go play.”_

_Peter nodded eagerly. He pitter-pattered to the kitchen. There was the scraping noise of the fire-engine red stepping stool being put in place, so he could reach the sink. Tony was satisfied when he heard the water turn on. Peter was a good kid and responsible for his young age._

_“This is the first meal I made.” Nebula grunted. “Not the first. I roasted meat on my arm over a fire once.”_

_Tony made a face. “I don’t think that counts.”_

_Nebula scowled and looked at her plate. She stabbed at the waffle that was nearly drowning in syrup. After taking a bite she reached for the maple syrup bottle again. “This comes from trees?”_

_“Yup, maple trees. It’s their sap.”_

_A grin grew on Nebula’s face. “I’m drinking their blood?” Tony couldn’t tell if it was a question. He decided there was no good response to give. Hopefully Gamora wasn’t as creepy as Nebula._

_After finishing their breakfast Tony led Nebula to the kitchen to show her how to load her dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Just because he was going all, dare he say it, domestic, didn’t mean he wanted to be the only one doing the housework._

_“We have these.” Nebula put her fork and knife in the dishwasher harder than necessary._

_There was a muffled clunk followed by running._

_“Thor,” Tony answered Nebula’s questioning look._

_He skidded into the kitchen, shirtless and bed ridden. He froze in spot when he saw Nebula. “Frost Giant!” Thor shouted while lunging at her._

_Before Tony could say anything Nebula drop-kicked the seven-year-old, sending him flying across the room and hitting the wall. Plaster fell in dusty chunks._

_Tony ran to Thor, praying that he was still alive. If he wasn’t, Tony would probably break down, not to mention that Loki would either laugh or torture Tony to death._

_Thor was sitting up in the crater, dusting plaster off his face. He was fine, and after a hasty explanation, Thor stomped out of the room with an icepack clutched over his chest._

*

Nebula had disappeared, grumbling something about the Milano, but not clarifying.

Tony worked on his tablet, going through his email. Friday had them all sorted. He rolled his eyes when she forward a confirmation message to him showing that she’d joined the Church of Stark.

“I’m thinking of becoming a High Priestess,” Friday said, and Tony really couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. “I’ve decided to use some of the funds I made from my job as a consultant to donate to the Church of Stark.”

Tony gave a perplexed look to one of her sensors. “You know I’m not some god or holy being. Why fuel that delusion?”

Friday didn’t respond at first. “Why not? This could be our chance to share your world view. Almost all those other established religions say homosexuality is a sin. If we could convert just one person the likelihood of a hate-crime against LGBTQIA people lessens. The Church of Stark could preach about equality for all, the importance of charity, and how global warming is real.” Friday was nearly pleading with him.

Tony squeezed the bridge of his nose. He already had so much on his plate that he was barely functioning. He’d just leave this alone, let Friday have her fun, and hope the whole thing would blow over.

He made a dismissive gesture and put it out of his mind. He continued looking through his email.

Oregon and Washington had joined California in trying to secede from the Union. Another Civil War (no, not like the fray at the airport) was building. Tony didn’t know what to think about it. A tired part of his mind was just considering how it would affect SI. One of their headquarters was in California and they had factories in Washington. A new country would mean different tax codes and trading tariffs. This new group, who humorously dubbed themselves COW, asked for support from Tony. They even offered him a position in their new government, which was still undefined.

Tony let out a slow breath. He really didn’t want to be roped into it. He decided just to ignore the email and have Friday monitor the situation.

Tony chuckled dryly when he saw that the US had drastically increased spending on education. A cynical part of him thought that it was only happening because government officials had been de-aged and were exposed to the sub-standard educational system.

That made Tony realize that Thor, Mantis, and Gamora were all of schooling age, and Peter would be next year. He’d have to figure out something for them, but with over half of them being alien and the other one having super-powers… it was a problem that was multifaceted. Despite Thor’s winning personality (when he was an adult) alien sentiment had largely been negative because of the Battle of Manhattan. Now it was downright vicious.

He groaned. He’d have to start some sort of homeschooling. But where would he find the time? He didn’t want to hire a private tutor. Tony couldn’t find it in himself to trust anyone, not after the one person he saw as a paragon of truth lied to him. Maybe he’d build an AI to teach them—or better yet, have Friday build her first AI.

There was also another worry. Loki was bringing all of Asgard to Earth, or whatever was left of them. What the hell was Tony supposed to do with them? With Thor a kid only Loki could speak for the Asgardians—and despite Loki fighting against Thanos, people still hated him.

Tony drafted a message to the UN, appraising them of the situation. This was bigger than him and involved more than just the US.

He was surprised to see that Princess Shuri had sent him a message. They had only talked on two occasions before. Both times their conversations were short, both mourning the loss of someone and caught up in trying to find a way to defeat Thanos.

_Dr. Stark,_

_In the wake of the Invasion of Wakanda I have been very busy. Mr. Vision’s body is still inactive, but my sensors show that there is data still inside of him. You are more familiar with his schematics than I am. I have sent him on one of our jets to New York where I was informed you are._

_I also have a warning. Wanda Maximoff was very distraught to see that Vision wasn’t brought back. She is furious with you and I do not know what she is planning since we deported her. I do not think she still has her powers, but I don’t think that will stop her._

_Weary and Thankful,_

_Princess Shuri_

Tony felt his heart clench. Vision. He had unconsciously blocked thinking about him. When he’d found out his youngest son had been killed all his tears had already been used up. He’d been so dead inside that he hardly felt the new wound to his heart. And when Vision didn’t contact him after the final battle… Tony had known he hadn’t come back to life like everyone else. It had been just another one of Tony’s failings.

He should have at least collected Vision’s corpse though.

And now Maximoff had a new vendetta against him.

“You feel sad,” a sing-song voice said. Tony set down his tablet and looked towards the doorway. Mantis was gripping the bottom hem of her shiny blue shirt, worrying away at it. She shifted in her fluffy green shorts, sort of looking adorable.

“You want some waffles?” Tony asked, ignoring her question.

Mantis antennas perked up. “What are waffles?” Her accent was almost lyrical. She reminded Tony of some sort of forest spirit. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was.

“Fluffy breakfast food. You’ll love it.” Tony got out of his seat, heading for the kitchen. Her feet were bare and the only reason he could hear her following him was the slight clinking of her ankle bracelets.

Tony fixed her a plate of waffles, putting a reasonable amount of syrup on top of it. He poured a glass of milk, distantly wondering if bugs were lactose intolerant. He changed her drink out for lemonade. Bugs liked sugar water, right? Or was the name Mantis inaccurate?

Mantis’ eyes were wide and full of wonder when he served her the food. She reached with it with both hands before Tony held up one of his own, motioning for her to pause. In an instant she looked devastated, like Tony was singlehandedly responsible for all the woes in the world.

“Let me cut the food up for you, sweet-pea.” Tony pulled the plate towards himself and picked up her cutlery. “We use the fork to eat waffles,” he said while cutting the waffle into bitable sizes. “But some food we eat with our hands, like pizza or chips. Things like soup and cereal are eaten with spoons.” Tony slid the plate back over to her then showed her how to hold the fork.

Mantis experimented with the fork before eating a small piece of waffle. Tony couldn’t tell if she was happier about using the fork right or the taste of the waffle.

After a few bites she asked, “Are you my new master?”

Tony physically recoiled. “Shit! I mean crap! I mean, what?”

Mantis took another bite, unbothered by Tony’s reaction. “Star-Lord killed Ego. He didn’t want me so he left me here.”

“Mantis, sweet-pea, you’re not a slave. No one owns you.”

Mantis blinked and smiled with a mouthful of food. “Imma pet!”

With great difficulty Tony refrained from facepalming.

*

Nebula and Gamora were shouting at each other on the party deck. Tony wasn’t sure what they were arguing about, and he honestly didn’t want to know. He’d have to explain to Nebula later on that shouting at kids was not healthy for her or the kid in question.

Thor was still pouting even though it had been nearly five hours since he got drop-kicked into the wall. Tony had tried to talk to him, but had only received glares and the promise that Loki would kill them all for their ‘insult to the crown’. Tony was fairly certain that wouldn’t happen.

Peter and Mantis were building a new pillow fort, with Tony acting as head engineer, giving advice, but mostly just supervising. The pair meeting had been adorable. Peter had been hesitant, hiding behind Tony. Mantis, on the other hand, had bound over to him with a rushed greeting and a million and one questions.

Peter had understandably been overwhelmed, but after some encouragement from Tony Peter was tentatively answering her questions. As Mantis ooh-ed and aww-ed Peter’s courage built up. He even introduced her to K-Rex. Mantis thought the dinosaur was the best thing to ever exist, and they bonded over it, even taking turns holding the stuffed animal.

Thor had his arms crossed over his chest as he pretended not to watch them build their new fort. Peter had hesitantly asked him if he wanted to join, but Thor had barked out that building was for servants and peasants. Peter had gotten all teary-eyed, but before Tony could step in Mantis touched Peter’s shoulder and he was all smiles again. Tony was going to need to talk to her about consent, but was too tired right now.

His body temperature kept fluctuating and the light was blinding. He had Friday dim them and tint the windows, but it was still too much. He put on a pair of his signature sunglasses. Tony couldn’t turn on the data stream function of his sunglasses or work on a tablet, making him feel inert and like he was wasting time. The world was still in chaos and he was sitting around watching little kids play.

Tony was also sipping on one of his chlorophyll smoothies. Unfortunately, when he’d lost a few years he also lost his acquired taste for the healthy drink. He’d have to build it back up.

“Boss Man,” Friday said softly, aware of the pain he was already in. He turned his eyes away from Mantis and Peter. “The ExVengers have arrived and settled in.”

Tony felt like the air had been knocked out of him. He’d put them out of his mind, with very good reason.

*

_Tony was taking a break, standing outside of the building where they were planning Thanos’ demise. He breathed in deeply, still smelling hints of smoke in the air. It had been three days since everything went to shit. Pepper, Peter, Vision, and Happy were gone. Harley and Rhodey had survived, but that had been little comfort to Tony. His losses—the world’s losses—far out weighed the good._

_And Tony was itching for a drink, anything to numb the pain. But he needed a clear head. He’d already failed the universe once. He didn’t need to again._

_Tony grinned despite himself, remembering Nebula’s earlier rant to him about how Star-Lord and his crew were doing a shit job of being the Guardians of the Galaxy. That conversation had turned sour fast though. Nebula blamed herself for Gamora’s death. Without warning she’d popped out her eye and demanded he take out the recording device there._

_He heard the door near him open and figured it was Rhodey coming out to check on him._

_“Hi, Tony,” Steve said._

_Tony automatically tensed up. “What do you want?” He asked, and instead of it coming out bitter he just sounded tired._

_Steve chuckled, but there was an undercurrent of nervousness to it. “What makes you think I want something.”_

_Tony turned towards him, looking him over. He was dressed in Wakandan clothes, bright colors that contrasted with his usual too tight shirt and khakis. “That’s the thing, Rogers, you and your lot always wanted something from me, and I was dumb enough to give without question.” They wanted his resources or tech, but never him._

_“That’s not true. We were friends and I think now more than ever we can be friends again.”_

_“You mean now that your best friend Barnes and your yes-man Wilson are gone? Barton and Lang abandoned you and we both know Natasha will betray you if it benefits her.” Tony paused, reading Steve’s reaction. He looked stunned. Tony turned to leave. “It’s not easy being alone, is it?”_


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

 

It was in the evening and all the kiddos were asleep. Nebula was in one of the labs, repairing somethings she’d been putting off. Tony made her promise that she’d message him if she needed help. May had left, shyly mentioning that she was going to her old apartment to see who she used to be.

Steve had tried to contact Tony a couple of times through Friday, but Tony made it clear that if it wasn’t an emergency, then he didn’t want to hear about it. He also made sure they didn’t have access to the penthouse.

Tony was laying on the couch in the living room. Peter and Mantis had as much fun carefully taking down the fort as they had putting it up.

The UN was less than pleased with the news of Loki’s (and the rest of Asgard) imminent arrival. There were already grumblings of shooting down their spacecraft if they tried to breach Earth’s atmosphere.

Tony was trying to wrangle them with little success.

“Loki, if you’re listening you should know things might not work out here on Earth for you and your people,” Tony said feeling like an idiot talking to a ceiling. Was this how people felt when they first met Jarv—Friday? Tony was met with silence. “You asshole.”

There was a slight buzzing. “Man of Iron,” a different voice rumbled, causing Tony to flinch in his seat. “I am Heimdall, the eyes of Asgard. I will pass on your message to,” there was a pause, “King Loki.”

“Uh, thanks.” Tony collected himself. “Can you give me an ETA?”

“Asgard’s people have been collected and we have resupplied. We have arrived in your solar system. By midday tomorrow we will be ready to land.”

Tony sighed to himself. He should have been preparing for this already, not leaving it to the last minute. “Yeah, okay. Keep me updated. I’ll see what I can do.” The buzzing stopped. Tony looked skyward.

“I may have a solution, Boss Man.” Tony pulled off his sunglasses and brushed a hand over his face before motioning for her to continue. “We could settle Asgard in one of the countries that aren’t part of the UN.”

Tony paused in thought. For some reason he knew which countries weren’t part of the UN. “Pretty sure Vatican City would oppose a settlement of ‘gods’. Palestine more or less allowed a settlement once and haven’t been happy ever since. And Kosovo has its own problems. Nice try though, my Gal Friday.”

She made a pleased noise that Tony didn’t program her with. “You’re forgetting COW.”

It took Tony and embarrassingly long time to remember COW stood for California, Oregon, Washington and was the unofficial name for their movement. “Really?” And they called him crazy.

“If we support their exiting of the Union, then we could make one of our conditions that Asgardians getting automatic citizenship.” There was something real persuasive about the way she spoke.

“The US would try to seize all my assets,” he said dryly.

“I’ve actually been doing some recon~”

“Oh lord.”

“And if we move fast enough…”

“Don’t,” he said weakly.

“I’ve had security upped at our different branches in the US.”

“Please,” he begged.

“SI and you are more popular than God himself. No one cares about COW.”

“Can we not call it that?”

“The world is changing and borders are shifting. You privatized world peace once. This time you could stop a civil war before it began.” Tony pulled a pillow over his face, pretending to smother himself.

“It’s un-American.”

“You’re a citizen of the world, not just the US.”

Tony tossed the pillow at Friday’s nearest sensor, missing. “They’ll blame my ego.”

“Blasphemy!”

“You’re not helping your argument.” Tony sat up, straightening his shirt. Happy would be by soon with the girls’ new beds.

“COW has guaranteed us all of Inyo National Forest for Asgardian settlement.”

“Stranger danger, Fri.” He had other things he could be focusing on.

“They consider AIs living beings with all the same rights as humans.”

That caught Tony’s attention, but before he could respond he heard the elevator open and Happy call out a greeting.

*

Four kids and only two adults. Tony was not looking forward to their first meal all together.

Lunch had been a stunted procession of giving out sandwiches and the leftover cut up fruit from breakfast.

Now it was dinner time and Tony had a new respect for parents.

“I’d rather cook,” Nebula said, not watching the kids like he’d asked her to. Thank goodness Friday and Karen were there, but it’s not like they could kiss a knee if one of the kids got a boo-boo.

“I’d happily let you cook, if you knew how to.” Tony’s heart twinged. It hadn’t been too long ago when he didn’t know how to cook. Pepper had taken a perverse liking in teaching him how to cook. It was the one thing without a doubt (other than being tactful) that she was batter at him then.

“I can learn.”

“True, but right now I need you to watch the kids. Fri, put on a cooking show in the background.”

Nebula nearly let out a growl before going to the living room.

Tony checked the noodles before draining them, steam wafting upwards. Maybe he’d take a steam shower. That might get him to sweat out a bit more of the toxins. He could tell the withdrawal symptoms were finally calming down, even if the cravings weren’t. He was so glad that the tower was already dry. There would have been too much temptation otherwise.

He finished making dinner, salad, spaghetti carbonara, and garlic bread. When he turned to head to take the salad and bread to the table he saw Peter and Mantis peaking at him from the doorway. Nebula was clearly not watching them. The pair whispered to each other before giggling and running off. Tony shook his head fondly.

Once the table was all set he called Nebula and the kids to come eat. Peter and Mantis ran in. Gamora followed, as silent as a shadow. Nebula was carrying Thor under her arm like a sack of potatoes. He was squirming and kicked the doorway, knocking off a piece of trim. Tony shook his head.

“Yay food!” Mantis cheered while climbing into her seat. Tony could almost appreciate her enthusiasm, though it made him wonder about what kind of living circumstances she had before this. Peter easily scaled his chair. Gamora sat down, placing her dagger by her plate of greens. Nebula shoved Thor in a seat. He immediately made a face.

“You either eat your vegetables or nothing,” Tony warned Thor. The little boy’s mouth snapped shut.

“They help you grow big and strong,” Peter added. He was a blessing.

“Rations are easier to eat than this,” Gamora said under her breath, “and they taste better.”

“Then suffer,” Nebula said. The sisters glared at each other until Gamora shoved a forkful of salad in her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk when I'll update next. I've just been feeling down.
> 
> PS: My birthday is in 3 weeks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Loki's back!! And it's a long chapter too!

* * *

 

“It’s perfect!” Mantis practically screamed. Her arms were flailing around haphazardously.

Tony had just finished setting up Gamora and Mantis’ beds. Friday had ordered them. One with all sorts of colors and animals on the headboard for Mantis. The other was sleeker and silver. It almost reminded him of a spaceship. Friday had also thought ahead and gotten the new sheets washed beforehand.

Mantis jumped on her new bed, squealing the whole time. Gamora glared at her then at her own bed.

Tony’s left eyebrow perked up. “You don’t like your bed?”

Gamora grabbed the pajamas she wore yesterday (one of Tony’s old lab shirts and a pair of sweat pants that were too small for lil’ Thor) and left for the bathroom without a word.

Wasn’t the silent treatment only a teenager thing? As if Tony could ever be that lucky.

*

They had an English breakfast, much to Thor’s delight. Tony had ordered in. He had actually slept last night to the point of waking up after everyone else had. Thankfully May had been there to corral the munchkins. She had taken charge with Friday’s help, directing Nebula.

Tony wasn’t sure what she had done when she visited her old apartment, but apparently it had helped.

The worst of the withdrawals were over, leaving him shaky, but eternally grateful. He’d made it, despite the world being on his shoulders.

But now he had to venture out of the tower, (forced to) trust the ladies in his life. He had all the kids smooshed together on one of the couches. He had Gamora and Thor on opposite sides of the couch. In the span of a few hours they had become mortal enemies. Gamora hated his haughty attitude. Thor hated that she could fight and win against him, especially since she was a girl.

Mantis and Peter had K-Rex between them, each holding one of her stubby arms. As Gamora changed Tony sat Mantis down and explained to her that her powers had an effect on people and until she learned control she shouldn’t touch others. He tried to explain the importance of having consent when she used her powers on other people, but she didn’t quite get it.

Nebula was in the kitchen putting away the food and May was getting cleaned up.

“I’m going to be gone for most of the day,” Tony began. Sadness and dread colored Peter’s face. Tony leaned forward and mussed his hair on instinct. It seemed to alleviate some of his worry. “Friday will be in charge. I want, no, I _expect_ you all to do as she says. I also expect you to listen to May and Nebula.”

“Why do you have to go?” Peter asked in a soft, heartbreaking voice. Tony felt terrible.

He took in a deep breath. “Thor’s brother, Loki, and his people lost their home.” Thor looked at his lap, his bottom lip sticking out. “I’m going to help them so that they aren’t lost anymore.”

“I must go with you,” Thor said, staring at Tony with his blue and brown eyes.

“No. You’ll get in the way.” It came out harsher than Tony meant. Thor opened his mouth to protest. “I mean, it will be chaotic. I can’t watch you and help them. You’ll distract me and the Asgardians.”

“They are my people!” Thor shouted causing Peter to flinch and Mantis to cower. “They need me!”

“Indoor voice,” Tony scolded, before softening. “It’s okay, kiddos.” Tony tried to sooth Peter and Mantis. Peter straightened up. Mantis bolted, running towards her room. Tony held back a sigh. “Not everyone likes shouting, Thor. We all have different backgrounds and sometimes shouting means they were about to be hurt.” Tony hoped that wasn’t he case with Mantis, but he couldn’t be sure.

Thor looked like he was chewing on a cud. Tony got back on track. “I’m not sure how long I will be gone, but that’s no excuse for acting out. This is new to all of us and we have to work together.”

“I am a prince,” Thor grumbled. “How will they survive without me there to rally them?”

“How ‘bout you write them a letter and I’ll get Heimdall to read it to them?” It sounded like a good compromise. Hopefully Thor would bite.

He shifted in his seat, more room now that Mantis was gone. “Fine.”

Tony nodded. “I’ll go get Mantis and something for you to write with. You three can play. Just try to stay in the living room.”

Tony received nods of varying agreement. It would have to do for now.

He followed after Mantis, but when she checked her room it was empty. He picked up faint voices. He knocked on the cracked door of May’s room.

“Come in.” May’s hair was wet and she was wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe. Mantis was hugging her, face buried against her tummy. May was patting her head softly.

“You got this?” Tony asked.

May paused before nodding. Tony gave her a grateful smile.

A minute later he found Nebula in the kitchen. The remains of breakfast were packed up and dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Nebula was picking at her teeth and staring at the wall. Tony didn’t know what he expected. “Keep an eye on them.” Nebula shot him an annoyed look. “Friday and May will help you out.”

“What am I supposed to do with those nuisances. They are valueless to me.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You care for Gamora. You just don’t know how to show it.” After giving it a brief thought he went over to her and clasped her shoulder. Nebula looked at his hand like it was offending her. He didn’t move though. “This is your chance to give her a better childhood than she originally had. This is _your_ chance to have a better life.”

“You think this is better?” Nebula gestured around at the kitchen. “I was made to conquer planets and kill. This domestic nightmare sickens me.”

Tony took in a deep breath, trying to calm down. “If you don’t want this, you don’t have to be here. I already took Gamora and Mantis on as my responsibility. I don’t _want_ you here if you’re going to be miserable. The kids don’t need someone like that in their life, someone who doesn’t want them.”

Nebula’s expression was unreadable before she began speaking. “We may have learned about each other while fighting Thanos, but that doesn’t mean I trust you. Nearly every person I’ve met has been a monster.” The accusation was clear, and Tony did his best not to let it sting. It did though. He thought they were friends, or at least comrades.

He held up his hand then decided just to leave.

Nebula didn’t call him back.

*

Tony didn’t read Thor’s ‘proclamation’ to his people, figuring he’d hear about it regardless. He was in one of his Iron Man suits—Not Bleeding Edge though. He still hadn’t gotten around to reinstalling his nano-bots.

Tony was on his way to Finger Lakes National Forest where the Asgardians were meant to land. It was still in New York and only 45 minutes away by traveling at an easy pace in his suit.

The idea had been inspired by COW’s offer to let them have a national forest. With a bit of cajoling on Tony’s part, and a lot of work on Friday’s, they had bought a good portion of Finger Lakes National Forest from the government. They had worked so fast that there hadn’t been time for people to protest the privatization of the land. Friday, in Tony’s name, had to make a lot of promises to make the deal go through.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure how Friday pulled it off, but she did.

Tony had spent more than a couple billion on the whole endeavor. Thank Tesla that he had plenty of other billions, even though another good portion of it was being put towards helping with the recovery post-Thanos.

Tony had spoken with Heimdall again. Loki would cloak their space ship as they neared Earth then landed.

The trip to the forest was calming. Upon arrival Tony was greeted by a convoy of trucks and people setting up large tents, trailers, and building material. Heimdall assured him that the Asgardians would be up to the task of making new homes.

When he touched down the suit retracted, and he pulled out a pair of sunglasses from his shirt pocket. The mid-morning sunlight wasn’t as bad on his withdrawal as it would have been yesterday. He placed a seamless piece of tech in his ear, connecting him directly with Friday since he was leaving his suit to do manual labor.  

Tony was greeted with mostly grateful workers, but a few looked wary, while others just wanted to get their jobs done.

Everything was going pretty well. His Gal Friday had already mapped out where everything went and used the suit to direct groups, mark the ground, and generally making his life a thousand times easier.

And oddly enough, Tony missed the kiddos. Even with all the noise around him it felt quiet compared to Mantis’ squealing laughs, Peter’s soft whispers, and those other two. Whatever their names were. Tony chuckled at himself, knowing a parent should never have favorites but… Tony rolled his eyes. He would treat them all with the same amount of care. And hopefully Thor would be off his hands soon.

Tony relishes the manual labor he put in. He could almost feel himself sweating out the last of his withdrawal symptoms. It also felt so good to build something with his own hands again. With the nano-bots he only had to design a few different models before getting Friday to replicate them. With the link-up he had he mentally conducted the nano-bots into armor.

And maybe the sunshine was good for him. He hadn’t really been outside in the sun since his workout in the park with… with Pepper. He wondered what she was up to. He wanted to call her, make sure she was alright, but to her he’s just some old man, and he’d probably come off as creepy.

Finally, Friday’s tuned sensors picks up the descending space craft. Despite knowing who it was and that this was scheduled, he felt apprehension. Loki may have been on his side last time they spoke, but Tony didn’t trust him.

Friday landed the suit next to him, a sentinel and promise of retribution should they be betrayed.

A soft buzzing broke through the moving of vehicles and equipment. Puffs of dust popped up, the dirt disturbed as the spaceship landed. The visually empty space began to shimmer like air on hot pavement. And then it was there, bulky and different than what he expected. It wasn’t the smooth ring like Thanos’ ships or the bullet shaped ships of the Chitarui. It reminded him of a freight train, but three stories in height and with alien etchings. Honestly, Tony just wanted to take it apart and ferret out every little piece of information he could.

There was a hissing and to Tony’s far left a door began to open and a walkway descend. He could sense the uneasiness of workers and was glad they all signed NDAs. He knew word would get out about the Asgardians, but he was hoping that things would be calmer when they did.

Tony took in a deep breath before going over to the door.

Loki, in surprisingly casual clothing, was flanked by two people, both warriors. The black man with oddly colored eyes was intimidating, but Tony didn’t let it phase him. The woman to Loki’s other side didn’t looked pleased to be here.

Behind them, in the dim lighting, Tony could see people. Some looked ragged while others were alight with hope.

“Tony Stark,” Loki said loudly with a surprising lack of arrogance, “you have my thanks for welcoming my people to your realm and home.” Loki raised his hand, but not in greeting. Tony tensed up, but didn’t let it show. From behind him came a young Asgardian boy, arms loaded with a chest like the kind a pirate would bury, but gaudier. It was set at Tony’s feet. “This is just one parcel of many to come to show our gratitude.” Loki’s smile became pleased with himself. “It contains technology unknown to your realm.” That made Tony perk up and his fingers tingle, begging for him to go through the chest.

“I can only speak for myself,” Tony said clearly, his voice projecting, “but you all are welcome here. So long as you all cause no trouble and follow the laws of the land then I will continue to advocate for you all and keep you under my protection.” Jesus, he hadn’t spoken that formally in ages. “Fresh food and drinks have been set out for you all as a welcoming feast.”

Loki made a half-turn towards the ship. He said something in a rough language that didn’t match the Norwegian or Swedish language the snow bunnies that he used to charm on the slopes used. Tony gave Loki a curious look.

“Only the nobles have the All-Speak.” Loki explained. “I will bestow the spell on them when time allows.” Loki and his two body guards descended to ground level. “This is Heimdall and the Noble Valkyrie.” Tony was surprised when the pair bowed at him. It threw him off his game, but he was quick to regain his footing.

“It’s good to put a face to the name,” Tony to Heimdall.

“Thor has told us of your many acts of valor, Man of Iron.” Tony wasn’t surprised. Thor loved to spin a tale—and make it grander than it actually was. “You have also handled Thor’s precarious nature well.” Precarious was putting it lightly, but Tony didn’t bother correcting him. “His first childhood allowed him to build bad habits that culminated into bullheadedness.”

“An understatement,” Loki interjected. Tony’s reward disappeared. “I have sent it to your tower.”

Tony nodded and lead them to the food. The Asgardians were carrying rucksacks as they got out of the ship. They looked absolutely delighted by the warm food. It was just a bunch of pizza, not even the good stuff, but if the way Thor ate was any indication, they wouldn’t mind.

He was proven right when they dug in without inhibition and their guzzling down of fruit-punch.

Loki, Heimdall, and Valkyrie were more refined. Tony ate with them, trying to show solidarity.

“How many people did you lose?” Tony asked. He wasn’t sure how well Asgardians could stand up to the vacuum of space, despite Loki’s reassurances.

Loki set down his slice of pizza, anchovies and pineapple. Tony had ordered the combination just to see if anyone liked it. And of course Loki did. “Half a dozen, the elderly mostly. The rejuvenative comas they had fallen into couldn’t keep up with their advanced age and the harsh conditions.”

That was much less than Tony had expected.

After their meal and with a short command from Loki every Asgardian pitched in with cleaning.

Tony handed Loki the note from Thor. Loki had read it, snorted, then burned it to ash like the dramatic son of a bitch he was. He said something to the Asgardians and they cheered.

Tony showed Loki what had been done with the large area which took up the rest of the daylight. Loki was impressed and was free with his compliments. And, it felt like a breath of fresh air to finally be appreciated for all the work he’d put in. It was different than the thanks he got for saving the world. He had to do that. He didn’t have to do this.

Throughout the day Asgardians came up to him, foreign words of gratitude easily falling from their lips. They were also open with their affection, hugging him, kissing his cheeks, and clasping his shoulders.

He met another Asgardian noble, Idunn. She was a middle-aged woman who requested an area of fertile land that could be defended in order to plant their sacred trees. Tony had Friday project the maps of what had been done and what still needed to be constructed. They moved a few things around until everyone was satisfied.

Loki insisted that they had a feast in Tony’s honor with traditional Asgardian dishes. A mixed group of Asgardians built bonfires and cooked using the supplies they’d picked up on their way to Earth.

Tony felt a bit nostalgic for a childhood staple that he never had. Howard was against camping and hadn’t even allowed Mr. Jarvis to take him out.

Loki also assured him that there would be no alcohol at the feast. It was a bit unsettling that he knew one of Tony’s weaknesses, but he was also thankful that he wouldn’t be tempted.

The second feast of the day was even better than the first. Tony was filled to the brim.

“We have a ceremony to show the peaceful transfer of land.” Loki said at the end of the feast. “It is traditionally done by the two leaders, you and me. It is simple and will only take a few minutes.”

Tony shrugged, in a good mood because of the food and the atmosphere. “Sure. What do I need to do?”

Loki stood. It drew the attention of everyone, ready to react to the whims of their _king_. Loki held out his hand. Tony took it with dubious feelings. They stepped back from the table, a wooden pedestal appearing in front of them. Asgardians began cheering and pounding on the table. Loki silenced them with a look, but they were clearly still excited.

There was a shallow bowl on the pedestal.

“If you plan on sacrificing me, I have to inform you that I’m no virgin,” Tony said dryly.

Loki smirked. “A shame.” Green energy whisked from long fingers to the ground. It dug beyond the top soil and scooped up dark earth. Then a sheathed dagger appeared in Loki’s hand, and little alarm bells went off in Tony’s head. He didn’t react though. Loki’s smirk grew bigger—and more annoying. “A drop of blood from each of us is mixed in the dirt and then we sheath the dagger together. It shows the unification of land, past and future, and that you are willingly giving us the land.”

Tony let out a puff of air. He hated ceremonies. “Fine.”

Loki pulled the dagger out of its guard and handed it to Tony hilt first.

Feeling like he was about to summon a demon, Tony pricked his thumb and let a few drops of blood fall into the bowl of earth. He gave the dagger back to Loki who did the same. There was power in the air, and Tony didn’t like it. “Now hold up the sheath above the basin.” Tony did so, carefully watching Loki. In a slow movement Loki put the dagger back in its home. Cheers from the Asgardians burst out, startling Tony. Loki chuckled goodheartedly. “The dagger is yours to show an exchange has taken place,” he said over the happy shouts and hands slapping the long table.

Loki took the bowl of earth to Idunn. She planted a small seed in it and the cheers became deafening. It brought a smile to Tony’s face.

Even Loki looked happy, his face taking on a pink hue. He came back over to Tony and, without asking permission, healed the nick on his thumb. Tony put the sheathed dagger in his pocket, the hilt sticking out. “It’s tradition that drinking is done deep into the night. I wager you don’t want to be here for that.”

“Smart man.”

“I can teleport you and your armor back to your tower. It will be quite the experience for you. I need to inform Thor that we have arrived safely also.” Tony gave it a moment’s thought before nodding. Friday landed his Iron Man suit besides them.

And then it felt like a wave of humid air hit him. His vision doubled, Loki standing in front of him, but the split images behind him were different—the happy Asgardians and his penthouse. The first began to fade as the latter became clearer. He blinked and was home.

“Friday, please tell me you were scanning,” he said, almost feeling breathless.

“I’ve already sent the data to the holo-screens in the lab.”

“Tony!” Mantis’ yell mingled with Peter’s, “Mr. Tony!” The little duo ran toward him, glomping against his legs. He felt the trill of Mantis’ happiness, but didn’t have the heart to ask her to let him go.

“Hey, kiddos.” Tony mussed Peter’s hair. “Peter you met Loki. How ‘bout you introduce him to Mantis.”

Mantis glanced over at Loki, still holding onto Tony’s jeans. Peter straightened up and looked like he’d been given an important task. “Mr. Loki, this is Mantis. She’s my best friend an’ is strong like me.”

“A new friend!” Mantis hopped over to Loki and hugged his leg.

Loki’s nose scrunched up, but he lifted her into his arms, hugging her back. “An empath.” He had a sour look on his face.

Tony raised an eyebrow in question.

“You don’t like me,” Mantis said, her antennas drooping.

“No, little hatchling, I like you well enough. I was only thinking of the struggle your powers may cause you. I wish only the best for you.”

“Yay!” Mantis gave him another hug before being set down and going to pick up K-Rex where one of them had dropped her. Karen gently reminded her that she wasn’t supposed to touch anyone until she had more training.

“Lady Friday, please inform Thor that I am here.” At least Loki was polite to Tony’s AI. Tony moved to find Nebula and check on Gamora. “You should stay. Thor will want to thank you.”

Tony reluctantly waited. He heard Thor’s heavy footsteps before he saw him. His shirt was on backwards and he was wearing his pajama pants. There was a line of dried drool on his left cheek.

“Brother! You have returned! How are my people? Surely they miss their prince!” Thor’s laugh was boisterous and carefree. Tony supposed that’s how all children should feel.

“Indeed. They are warmed by the knowledge that such a noble man as the Man of Iron was your caretaker. Many have asked after you and I’ve only been able to show them illusions of your visage. Your message was well received and needed.”

“The people always cheer for me! And how fares your rule? Is being king as fun as I imagine?” Tony was surprised by how accepting Thor was about Loki taking over.

“Nay, brother. I find it laborious and boring. I am the God of Mischief. It doesn’t suit me. I look forward to the day when you are old enough and prepared to ascend the throne.”

Thor gave him a puzzled look. “But what of your future children? Wouldn’t you want them to follow in your footsteps?”

Loki made a humming noise. “Ah! I have something to show you.” An illusion appeared of Tony and Loki. It was of the ceremony. From an outside perspective Tony realized that they both were glowing, or was that just part of the illusion?

“Congratulations!” Thor said, louder than ever before. He manhandled Tony (despite his small size) into a hug. “I welcome you as a brother! I can picture no one better to marry Loki!”

Tony’s head turned so fast to Loki that he almost got whiplash.

Loki was smirking mischievously before he teleported away in an instant.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I have like no writing motivation rn!

* * *

 

“Son of a bi—biscuit!” Tony self-censored, his rage feeling impotent with the word. “Fuuuuuudge!”

His throat clenched and the ingrained need for alcohol flared painfully. Just a sip or maybe two and everything would be alright. He could forget about this shit show—forget about Peter dying, Rogers lying to him, and now Loki tricking him.

Thor said something, but Tony couldn’t hear him. He listlessly walked to the bar, he opened a bottle, he opened his salvation—but it was empty.

A punch to the stomach and he was sent flying. A moment later he was encased in one of his suits, Friday’s voice and the familiar lights of his HUD all around him.

“Boss, shh, it’s okay,” Friday tried to sooth him. “You don’t need alcohol. You’re stronger than that. I already sent a suit to go kick Loki’s ass, 30 minutes ETA.” Friday turned up the AC. Tony hadn’t even realized he was sweating.

He was hauled up and came face to face with Nebula. “Who has tricked you? I will kill them.” Her voice cut through his panic. Through his cameras Nebula looked like an avenging angel. Maybe Peter had been right when he’d first seen her.

“Did you just punch me in the gut?” Tony asked, hysteric laughter bubbling in his throat.

“You needed it.” Her no-nonsense attitude just made him laugh harder. He retracted his suit and pulled Nebula into a hug. “What is this?! What are you doing?!” She tried to pry him loose, but he just held on tighter. Nebula flailed before going limp. “This is an ineffective way of trying to kill me.” Her voice sounded strained.

Tony pulled back and laughed harder. “Oh, Nebz, you’re the best. I never thought I’d say this, but thank you for hitting me.”

“Are you okay, Boss? Should I call Colonel Rhodes?”

And Tony’s chest and throat ached with need, but… “No, he has his sister to worry about.” Tony took in a deep breath. Thor was nearby, looking on in worry. Tony gestured for him to come over. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“You fled like draugr were chasing you.” Thor cast his eyes around, looking like a child who just had a nightmare. Draugr must be their version of the boogieman.

Tony smiled at him. “There’s no draugr around here, just us.” He was still feeling shaky, but knew how to put on a show. “Let’s sit down and you can tell me about this ceremony.” Tony saw Gamora lurking in the mouth of the hallway. She must have been drawn by the noise. “You want to join us?” Tony asked while going to the couch.

Gamora looked at Nebula in question. “Get in here,” Nebula ordered. “I’m trying to make you into a real person.”

Gamora snarled, but did as she was told. When she didn’t move fast enough Nebula grabbed her by the shoulder of her shirt, hauling her forward. Tony would have to talk to her about that later.

“Loki did not tell you what was happening?” Thor asked, a slight smile on his face.

Tony held back a sigh. “No, your brother is kind of,” an asshole, “a jerk.”

Thor nodded sagely at Tony’s assessment. “I’ve only seen one royal marriage before. Idunn plants a new golden apple tree to show the relationship growing. When it bares fruit there is a grand feast!”

That was… not really helpful. “How do I get a divorce?”

There was a faint buzzing. “Man of Iron,” Heimdall said, his voice reverberating in the room. Tony held back a sigh, but maybe now he’d get an answer. “I was against King Loki’s trickery, but he was persuasive. The Asgardian people would never accept charity, especially something as generous as the land you have given us. Marriage and war are the only way Asgardians gain land. By making you Consort of the King our people can start a new life without worries.”

“Yeah, that’s all nice and what-not, but what the fudge?” Tony wasn’t even sure how to get across how angry he was without scaring the kids.

Heimdall did not respond immediately. “Rest easily. Your new status does not have any obligations beyond not having out of wedlock.” As if Tony had time or even wanted another kid—but Morgan Stark—Tony strangled that idea. Pepper saw him as a stranger and was too young for him to even hope to rekindle what they once had.

“That’s all fine and dandy, but I’m betting some Asgardian would beat me to death if they found out I ‘cheated’ on Loki.”

“Nay, we all know this is a marriage of convenience and nothing more.” That was of no comfort.

“You should rejoice, Man of Iron,” Thor said. “Loki is a mage and womanly. All will known that you are the one to give instead of receive.”

Tony did a double take. “Thor, go to your room and, I don’t know, count your toes or something.”

“But Tony—”

“Now, mister!”

“Being the Consort of the King doesn’t mean you can boss me around!” Thor shouted, his little face started to turn red.

Tony smirked to himself. “Actually, that’s exactly what it means. Now go.”

Thor gaped like a fish, as if he wanted to say more. With a huff he left.

Well, at least something good had come out of this fucked-up situation.

“You can always kill him,” Gamora chimed in.

Tony stared at the little girl. She was painfully sincere. Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to bed. Don’t burn down the place.”

*

Tony woke up earlier than he meant to, staring blearily at the ceiling. He idly listened to Friday updating him on the small things like the weather to news on the world stage. She then hesitated. What happened the day before snapped into place in her silence.

Tony sighed and covered his face with the pillow.

“I tried to punch Loki with the suit, but he just teleported it back to the tower before I could.” Tony grunted in response. “This morning at 3:27am he also teleported a small chest to your nightstand. I’ve scanned it and it appears to be harmless.”

Tony removed his pillow and turned onto his side. The chest was ornate, which was not surprising. He decided to check it out after using the restroom.

Tony felt himself relax bit by bit. “The kids?”

“Still sleeping. Nebula is awake and brooding on the terrace. May’s vitals indicate that she should be waking soon.” Tony nodded and went to go wash his hands. In the mirror he saw that his scruff was getting bad. Without Pepper he hadn’t really felt the need to look good. Friday, reading his intentions, turned on the shaving cream warmer. “Secretary Ross has been trying to get in contact with you pertaining to the Rouge Avengers, but I’ve been giving him the run around.” Tony pulled out a new razor. “In regards to Mantis’ empathic powers I suggest we get in contact with Bruce Banner. He has the most experience when it comes to controlling emotions.” Tony lathered up. “His main reason for avoiding all contact had been the death of Valkyrie. Now that we know she is alive I believe he’d be more receptive to coming here.”

“Give him a call later today and explain the situation with him.”

“Should I include her newlywed status?” Friday joked. Tony rolled his eyes.

“Too soon, my Gal Friday.”

“Not according to my data. You use humor 78% of the time while in a bad situation. I’m just following your lead.” Tony gave one of Friday’s sensors a pointed look. She was silent until he was done shaving. “Mr. Rogers has also become more insistent about talking with you.”

“More like talking at me,” Tony grumbled while drying off his face. Friday turned the shower on. “What does he want from me now?”

“He says Mr. Barnes is in need of a new arm.”

“Have the kid’s measurements taken then rush order him a new arm from a prosthetics place.” Tony wanted nothing to do with Barnes, despite him being an innocent child.

“On it.” Friday paused. “Uhm, I tried to cancel the wedding cake tasting,” Tony flinched, “but they said they wouldn’t give a refund. I think it is a good chance to take the kids out to do something fun.”

Tony breathed in the steam in the shower, trying to center himself. “Fine, yes, but we’ll need two more adults. I’m not taking the kids out unless they each have someone guarding them.”

“Yes, Boss.”

Sensing the conversation was over, Tony let himself drift, his mind blessedly cooperative for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My bday is tomorrow! Guess my age based on my writing! (Don't worry, I won't be offended!)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited because I just finished writing it and I have to leave for work in 2 minutes!!

* * *

 

Tony was really considering getting one of those child-leashes for Mantis. They hadn’t left the tower and she was already running around like crazy. She hadn’t known what cake was, but after Peter enthusiastically explained to her what it was Mantis had been bouncing off the walls.

Gamora was sneering at the idea of sweets, as if her eating tasteless rations made her somehow superior. Tony had no idea how to disabuse her of that notion, and didn’t have the energy to try.

Peter was vibrating in his spot while Thor expounded his love of food and the delicacies of Asgard, but suddenly fell silent. Tony got the feeling that he suddenly remembered his home was destroyed. Tony gripped his shoulder, not sure how receptive he’d be to a hug. He wanted to offer words of comfort, but couldn’t think of any.

Nebula was wearing human clothes that would do nothing to help her blend in. It didn’t help that she had her dagger on her hip. Gamora was wearing its twin on her back.

May was glamming in her modern day clothes and hair French-braided. Unfortunately, Tony hadn’t been able to convince her to go with them. If anything, he was proud of her. May was about to tour NYU. Tony had told her he’d fund her education and was happy to see she was taking him up on the offer.

That left them two short on adults for the outing. Fortunately, and unfortunately, Loki had volunteered himself and Valkyrie. They had yet to arrive though and Tony was still teetering between wanting to punch Loki in the face and wanting to go to sleep and pretend his marriage never happened. Neither of which would be much help.

Tony tried not to think about what was laying in his lab— _who_ was laying in his lab. A Wakandan jet had dropped off Vision’s body early in the morning. Tony hadn’t know what he’d expected, but not for Vision to be grey, faded like an old photograph.

It had been too much for Tony. He had covered Vision with a blanket from the futon in his lab then hurried upstairs to be distracted by the kids.

“Bye, Ms. May,” was followed by a chorus of goodbyes. Tony waved at her then checked his watch. As if summoned by his thoughts, Loki and Valkyrie appeared.

Valkyrie was dressed in full armor, her eyes scanning the area. Loki, in contrast, was wearing dark jeans, a leather jacket, and a shirt that, if memory served, denoted him as being genderfluid. And a pair of oxford shoes. He was carrying some frozen Starbucks drink. In all, Tony thought he looked like a grad-student.

A handsome grad-student, not that that mattered.

“Brother! Where have you been?! These Midgardians are disrespectful and feeble!” Thor shouted while running over to Loki. Thor frowned. “Come down to my level! You are my little brother. You’re not supposed to be taller than me!”

Loki took a sip of his drink then kicked Thor’s feet out from under him.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Tony whispered to himself.

“No cussing!” Peter shouted/giggled. Gamora had a malicious grin on her face.

Thor sputtered as he got up. “The indignity—”

“I am your king!” Loki’s voice seem to reverberate. Valkyrie rolled her eyes, yet Loki’s words seemed to have a completely different effect on Thor. He took in a deep breath before kneeling, his eyes on the ground. Loki stared at him for a moment. “That’s better.” Loki made in impudent huffing noise. His expression softened. “At ease. We are still brothers in all things.”

Thor relaxed and looked up at Loki, sniffling. Loki had gone too far, but Tony didn’t know how to comfort Thor. It also made him curious about what sort of childhood they had under Odin.

As it were, Loki patted Thor on the top of the head like he was a dog.

“A word,” Tony said while gesturing with his chin to the kitchen. He took off, and Loki better follow him or he might lose it.

He didn’t hear Loki’s feather light footsteps, but when he turned back around in the kitchen he was there, face carefully blank. It only made Tony angrier.

“I don’t even know where to start with you. You tripping Thor like that? No, _hell_ no. I don’t know how things were done in Asgard, but in my house we don’t hurt children. And if that’s the way you’re going to treat him then you don’t have any right to be around him.” Loki opened his mouth to say something. “I’m not done. You being king means jack-shit to me. In my book you’re just some asshole who’s only redeeming qualities are that you helped fight Thanos and that you helped your people.” Tony took in a deep breath, trying not to lose it. “And that marriage trick? That was way out of line. I _trusted_ you. I opened up my world to you and you just spit in my face. I shouldn’t even be surprised. You tricked Thor into thinking you were dead _again_. Do you know how terrible that is? He was torn to pieces and damn near suicidal because you wanted to pull one over on him!” Tony rubbed his hands over his eyes, frustration almost overwhelming him. “You’ve got a lot to make up for, and you’re not doing yourself any favors.” Loki’s lips were in a tight line, his eyes narrowed with some unidentifiable emotion. Tony ignored him. “Alright, gang. Let’s get a move on!”

Mantis and Peter’s squeals of happiness mingled into an earsplitting nightmare, making Tony cringe. The rest followed at a slower pace. Thor seemed to have recovered. He was staring at Valkyrie with star-struck eyes.

“Cake! Cake! Cake!” Mantis and Peter chanted in the elevator, Thor joining in shortly after.

Happy was waiting for them in the parking garage, the van he was driving in park. Tony slipped on his sunglasses, just hoping nothing would go wrong.

*

Friday had been very busy since Tony woke up. She’d released a video on the heroes that had fought against Thanos, emphasizing Mantis, Thor, and Nebula. There was also a nice piece on Thor and how all of them had been turned into children. It also had a blurb about how Thanos killed Gamora, but said nothing about their relationship. They also kept Peter’s secret identity out of it. To round it off it ended on a happy note. Friday had added in clips of the kids playing together and being cute.

It was a preemptive strike since they would be revealed to the public soon. Tony might have a lot of goodwill pointed in his direction for bringing everyone back, but hostility towards aliens was still at an all-time high.

Along with that Friday had bought out the reservations of the other people that were supposed to be cake-tasting that day. It hadn’t been that difficult since many events were postponed due the Infinity War, as people had dubbed it.

She had hired security and had some of them monitor the bakers as they cooked. Of course, she had to run a background check on all of them which really didn’t take all that long.

What took up a good portion of her time was conducting the bots. She had them put sensors on different spots on her deceased baby bro, Vision. It was a somber task, punctuated with Dum-E and U’s sad beeping. Butterfingers hadn’t even been able to help. He didn’t understand why Vision wasn’t moving and ended up just gently cradling Vision’s hand in his claw.

Like Princess Shuri said, there was still data inside of him. Two programs, each bigger than her own…

*

Nebula and Valkyrie were arm wrestling. Tony could hear the whir of Nebula’s machinery and see the vein that looked like it was about to burst on Valkyrie’s neck. “Please don’t break the table,” he said, exasperated. They ignored him.

Peter was sitting on Tony’s lap, smears of frosting on his face. Mantis was sitting beside them, K-Rex in her arms. Instead of bouncing off the walls like Tony had expected, she was wide eyed in some sort of sugar coma. Tony wasn’t sure if he should be worried or not.

“More!” Thor shouted, having licked all the frosting off his fifth plate. Thankfully the ‘Cake Consultant’ was charmed.  

Gamora had given up on trying to play it cool and was scarfing down samples with vengeance.

In the chaos Tony didn’t have time to think about Pepper.

And then there was Loki. He was moping subtly. He was endlessly tapping his foot from his spot across the table, his eyes never resting on one thing for long. He’d been picking at his chocolate and raspberry slice of cake for the hour that they’d been there.

Friday kept Tony updated on the growing crowd outside. There was a disturbingly large amount of people from the Church of Stark, a few fans, and a mixture of people who hated Tony and those that were angry at him for harboring aliens. It was nothing unexpected, but still unsettling.

Peter was sipping at his glass of milk when Nebula and Valkyrie did exactly what Tony told them not to: break the table. And, of course, that caused Peter to flinch and spill some of his milk on Tony and himself.

“It’s okay, kid,” Tony said softly while handing him a napkin. Tony sent a reprimanding look at the pair. Nebula smirked and Valkyrie avoided his eyes. “I’ll pay for that,” he said to the Cake Consultant despite it being understood. He would have pulled out his wallet, but he was sitting on it and didn’t want to disturb Peter.

Loki sat up straight, alerting the adults to danger. Gamora was quick to pick up on it, pulling out her dagger and causing the Cake Consultant to stumble backwards. The other three were oblivious.

“Can I get up, kid?” Tony asked, keeping his voice calm. Peter wiggled onto the ground, too intent on his cake to care. He motioned for Loki to come with him while leaving the other two adults as guards.

When they were out of view Loki’s armor materialized around him. “This way.” Tony’s watch unfolded into a gauntlet. They moved as a unit through the hallway that had pictures of cakes and weddings on the walls. “One of your guards have been disabled and took the communication device.”

“Your magic tell you that?” Tony was beyond being surprised when it came to these kinds of things.

Loki’s grin was cocky before turning serious again. The atmosphere was tense, but nothing compared to the gripping misery that followed Thanos attack.

Then turned a corner and then, “Are you shitting me?” Steve Fucking Rogers was there by the guard slumped on the ground. He was clearly trying to fix the earpiece in place.

“Shall I kill him?” Were all aliens this homicidal?

“Tony! I need to talk to you,” he said as if Rogers was just swinging by Tony’s office—not like he’d just assaulted someone. “Loki, can you give us a moment?”

“What hypocritical excuse are you going to use now to justify hurting,” Tony paused, reading the guard’s vest, “Jake?”

“If you’d just talked to me!” He let out a frustrated growl.

“Just spit it out, Rogers. What do you want from me now?”

Rogers paused. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

That startled Tony. He was quick to recover though. “Did you finally realize how condescending that letter that you wrote me was?” From the corner of his eye he could see Loki shifting his weight, getting ready to attack at the smallest threat.

“I wanted to apologize for not being there for you,” he said, ignoring Tony’s barb. “I’m sorry that I pushed you away after the Ultron incident. It wasn’t right of me. If I hadn’t, everything would be different. I should have been watching out for you and keeping you on the right path.”

Tony’s brain came to a halt before his fury rebooted it. “I’m not a _child_ , Rogers. And we both know why you ‘pushed me away’. It was so you could keep your lie about Barnes hidden! And you’re not my father or somehow responsible for me. You made it clear that you’re not even responsible for your self when you brought down a tunnel on civilians!” Tony took in a deep breath. “Are you seriously that delusional?” He shook his head. “Loki, can you teleport him out of my sight before I lose it?”

“With pleasure~”

“Wait! There’s one more thing! Bucky needs a new arm,” Rogers hastily said.

“He has a new prosthetic. Friday told me it was delivered.”

Rogers’ chest puffed up. “He needs a better one like the one he used to have.”

Once again Tony was dumbstruck. “You’re crazy. I’m trying to take care of four kids and the world and you think I have time to give your best bud a hand-made arm? News flash, Cap! Barnes isn’t the second coming of Christ! He’s just one of a million people who came back younger!” Tony ran his hand down his face. “Loki?”

Loki swept his hand out and Rogers disappeared in a blur of green.


End file.
